In My Senses

Hidden Meanings

2011-12-07T00:04:00.003+08:00

Dabble dabble, ramble ramble. I am but foolishly churning out words.
Moan, groan, sown, thrown the rhymes that make for my verbal dressage.
Masquerading in a beautiful face to hide the featureless visage,
I can only continue on in the hopes you fall for the trickery.

I think before I write, but I write not what I think.
I am the Walrus.
I whisper sweet things in your ears and conjure magic and enchantment in my sentences.
Be fooled! Believe in my apparent substance, believe that I have a fair morsel of intellect.
For I know nothing. Then again, what exactly is 'nothing'?

Love or/and Lust

2011-12-01T00:34:00.002+08:00

Believe me when I say that I have never met a girl like you before. Yet don't believe others when they say that, for they only mean it in the literal term wherein your DNA and chromosomes uniquely tell you apart from the entire 6 billion of us. For I speak not in the literal but dabble in the highly elusive world or euphemisms and metaphors. I call not an apple an apple, but a red pearl that gently falls off mother nature's tree. I speak forth ideas where its concretisation loses the essence and spirit of its meaning. Hence, believe me when I say I have never met a girl like you before.

In me, a rather insatiable urge to talk to you, in me, a rather repressed hesitation that there is but one shot in the barrel of opportunity, for whence discharged, has no chance of recompense. In me, idealistic urgings I extinguish with pessimism and a defunct disdain of hope. I am pained and you are ignorant. But yet, I am more than willing to have it the other way too. So I guess it has to be lust.

2011-08-16T23:52:00.001+08:00

Dear lord! has it been seven months since I last saw you? How could it have been so long yet feel so short. Alas I can only conclude that your importance is but a fleeting memory in the larger scheme of things.

Yet fret not, I will make it a point to meet up with you frequently, lest you shun me when I need you most. But till then, be the epitome of a woman. Aware of my presence but resolved not to beg for it.

Ho hums

2011-01-29T22:44:00.003+08:00

"and I only have eyes for you"

Or so thats how the song goes anyway. If only such simple application from lyrical verse to real life was possible.

Unfortunately or fortuitously, this is not the case. Love is but a silly game that we taunt ourselves with. With painful headaches and equally euphoric heart races there is no limits to the emotions conjured in this magical encounter.

However like all magic tricks, it is but a farce, a sleight of the hear. Nothing but sheer illusion that leaves you embittered at the end and yet, quietly wanting for more.

Dum dum dum dum

2010-10-08T02:58:00.002+08:00

Lyrical boredom. Mundane, pedantic rantings as common as a crow near food.

I was pondering on the meaning of all this nonsense. This incessant dabble I hear on the airwaves. What is it with these people? Do they understand what it means to produce and listen to good music? Well if not good, at least audible and pleasant ones.

But no, you have your rappers and your rockers; with having more spunk rather than the lyrical genius that we traditionally ascribed to this elite class of individuals called musicians. Did you know of Dizzy or Coltrane? Did you hear their sensual beats and feel their cool vibes pulsating, breathing, giving life? Of course you can't. You are too busy being dazzled by your strobe lights and all other forms of visual spectacles that distract you from the actual purpose of music.

In this day and age. The watered down, bastard child of "music" is genetically defective and has no more listening potential than watching a piece of bread mold grow, develop maggots and become completely disfigured.

I can hear the sounds on the airwaves, but I cannot listen to them anymore.

Lyrics. Fail.

2010-04-05T10:19:00.002+08:00

I happened to turn on the radio recently and stumbled upon a Ke$ha's song "Tik Tok". I had heard it before, but today I paid special attention to the lyrics of the song and not just the catchy tune and the crazy bass.

Lo and Behold, I found a verse that was so perplexing I had to listen to it again (on my itouch, they don't replay on the radio. duh). The verse goes "When I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack". O.K.... for all you underage teeny innocent boys and girls out there, Jack stands for Jack Daniels, a form of bourbon or American Whiskey. Now imagine gargling your mouth with that alcoholic (80 proof) liquid. Ouch!

Not satisfied with the thought of that, I tried it. Unfortunately I had no bourbon, so I settled on a McCallen (such a waste right?! The things I do to satisfy you readers; if any), and boy oh boy it was painful. It felt like gargling with Listerine when you have ulcers in your mouth. Worse still, whiskey has this strong spicy sensation when it touches your tongue! OMG it burned!

Then it occurred to me how stupid the lyrics really is. Perhaps Ke$ha needed a rhyme or something provocative, either way it sure does not reflect any thinking or songwriting in it (Yes Sir, I am dis-ing Kesha cause she is as good a singer/ writer as I am at riding a bike). Singers and song writers must think before they pen a song. Artist like Rachel Yamagata, Amos Lee even Usher do that.

On the flip side, consumers need to filter what they listen too. Just like how not all that glitters is Gold, a good beat does not necessarily make a good song. Lyrics count too.

Now to wash away that acrid taste on my tongue.

So

Rude, Rude, Rude People

2010-03-30T15:11:00.009+08:00

"If youth only knew: if age only could." Henri Estienne (1470 - 1520)

Respecting our elders would seem to be a universal value and a moral value that one would have been instilled from a very, very young age. After all, respecting your parents (an elder in their own rights) would have been mandated.

As you grow up and entered school, you were thought to respect the "words" from older people and to remain "reverend in their presence". You would have been thought to pay attention to what they say and most of all, leave whatever snide comments that you have to later. You were thought to pay attention to these elders even though what they say may be preposterous and go against all the laws of science ( I once had a hearty conversation with an old man which thought he served in world war one, which would have made him a 10 year old soldier. Right…).

Yet, how is it that you can confer such respect to these people and not have the dignity to give up your seat to them when all laws of science and logic point to the fact that they need the seat more than you?

This issue was spawned from my daily commute back home from work. My bus stop is at Newton, and on an average day, the bus is probably full by the time I board the bus. Thus, I will have to stand for the entire journey.

Last week, when the bus stopped at Balmoral Plaza (after Newton), an elderly couple (I would estimate 70-ish) boarded the bus. They managed to meander through towards the designated "seats reserved for the elderly" which were occupied by 2; for the lack of a better phrase; "apathetic young punks".
Instead of giving up their seats, (as appropriated by the sign) they continued to sit as the two elderly couples stood there, their frail hands barely hanging on to the railings as the bus lurched onwards. This couple hung on for the entire length of their journey and got off a stop before me, visibly battered from that ordeal.

Two themes come to mind in the aftermath of this event. Firstly, the apparent lack of respect and compassion the youths of my age have for their elders. More importantly, the theme of personal apathy and desensitized behavior. As much as I was shocked at the youth, I was even more taken aback at my nonchalance about it.

In the new scientist article titled "Respect for elders 'may be universal' in primates", the article illustrates how primates are similar to us human being and how these primates will pay respect and pay special attention to their elders. Unfortunately, this episode has made me rethink that notion.

Perhaps we are not as similar to primates after all. At least they respect their elders.
From that episode, I decided to research if this incident was just an isolated experience or one that was recurring in our daily lives. Upon talking to my friends and reading demographic reports, I realize that these cases were not remote. They were rather rampant, to say the least.

However, let us move on to the more pressing issue at hand. How was it that I could stand at on the bus and stand (no pun intended) for such a behavior? Where was Human morality to tug at my brain and give those “young punks” a good chiding?

I think the answer to that boils down to one thing; indifference. As much I would have liked to ‘tell them off’, I just did not have the strength to do so. I adopted this, “let me mind my own business” attitude. Unfortunately, upon reflection, I realize that I should have done something. It would have been the right thing to do.

Many a times in life we bear witness to situations in which we are clear about who is right and who is wrong. Yet, many a times, we choose not to intervene. We choose to ‘close our eyes’, hoping that the matter will slip by and aligning ourselves to a state of “forced oblivion”.

We do not want to meddle in other people’s business. We want to remain neutral. Unfortunately, we CANNOT remain neutral all the time. We need to interfere when the situation calls for it. As a youth in

Singapore

, most of the time, I feel that this is not my responsibility to bear. I feel the older people should do it, yet, if the older generation has been too desensitized to awake from their slumber of indifference, who will?

And so the mantle has been passed onto us to address this. Be it a moral obligation, a societal obligation, a need to express your true emotions or just Karma, I think being standing up to address these issues is crucial for the betterment of everyone’s lives.

Although I cannot spell out the benefits to you, I can tell you that by expressing how you feel. You will not live to regret it later.

So, the next time you are commuting or any where else and you see an act that goes against your conscience, remember to tell that little bugger off. Who knows, we might live up to the expectations of our species after all.

XOXO.

2010-03-30T14:53:00.003+08:00

As I pen, well-type, this post, I am reminded of the lyrics from RENT. "525 600 minutes, 525 600 moments so dear... blah, blah blah.... seasons of love...." So it has been more than a year since I visited this site, let alone post a new entry. However like an annual pilgrimage to to some sacred and holy site, I feel that this 'offering' to the demi-god of social media is long and way overdue.

The 15 months that I have been away has been amazing. Firstly, I have managed to break free of the manacles that bounded me to the "Emerald City" (Army), I have landed myself a rather comfortable- yet challenging- job and will be heading to Europe during the Spring of May. I guess thare's only one phrase to describe such a profound state of rest, and unfortunately; my mono-language friends; it is not in English but French.

That phrase is : laissez faire et laissez passez. (easy living and easy going)

Yes! I feel reborn, as if the yolk of suppression has been lifted from me. Like a frog that has been lifted out from his well, I can see so many new things in which I could not see earlier, as if I am wearing 3D glasses!

No more will I have to face the stupidity of the office-ers, and no more will I listen to the incessant whining of the soldier. Freedom from listening to their incessant chatter is a reprieve so great, I find the proper adjectives to describe it.

OK now, time to enjoy this new found freedom. Adieu

Uncle, Melamine Utensils Please

2008-12-01T20:59:00.003+08:00

I have always been the kind of person to run back to the familiar, the familiar smell of home cooked food, the familiar sights of my residence, the familiar feeling of sleeping on my bed its contours forming a nest for my body. The unfamiliar is interesting, but ultimately left to the adventurers and the misguided. Whats worse then the unfamiliar? well, its the feeling of the familiar becoming all to alien.

Case in point, NEWTON HAWKER CENTRE. I must say that I had fond memories of the old Newton. Yes the one with the with really small stool like chairs and even smaller circular tables, where the light Blue paint tried in vain to hide the rust that had accumulated throughout the years there. Yes the Newton of old, where you were greeted with a warm humid fog before you even entered. No this was not any ordinary fog, it smelled of the wonderful hawker fare on offer. The Char Kuay Teow, the Hokkien Mee, the Chai Tao Kuey, the Stingrays, the Oyster Omelet, the BBQ chicken wings, etc. Yes my friends, that was a heavenly scent like sweet nectar from a rare flower in full bloom. The only thing that was better than the smell, was the the taste. Oh! the froth from the teh tarik, that spicy mee pok ta that seemed to transcend the spicy o meter, and could only be extinguished with some sour sop dessert or some sugarcane. The blend of old school charm, good food and the low attention to hygiene seemed to be the most brilliant formula that made Newton, well, Newton.

You could imagine my utter dismay and shock when I went to the new Newton. After a hectic week in the Emerald City, I was hoping for a reminiscent of her old school past. What I got was a slaughtered version of Newton, that saved for the name and a small nuclear of stalls, had nothing that brought the throngs of people it did just a few years ago. The stalls had become generic, the seating arrangements so awkward, the hawkers, so lifeless.

The food was worse, for a higher price and a smaller portion, I got to taste the "toast of Singapore", the epitome of Singapore's "hawker fare". In fact it did nothing to represent Singapore's quality food. I swear, I could find better food at the coffee shop next door. The hokkien mee could well be called noodles, the mee pok had by "decent" seal of approval, nothing like its 'die die must try' status bestowed by some television programme(i wonder how you got featured). The stingray was 'ok' but not the best I have had. And the teh tarik only "flew" once. I felt like the bigger clown getting fooled into buying from that store. All in all, it was a farce, a sad combination of gimmicks and bad food all served in Styrofoam plates and plastic cups.

You know what I say? I say, Give me back my melamine tainted utensils. I don't care if its hygienic or lacking in presentation. If it adds to the taste, then I am having it. I say, dear Mr Hawker, get yourself together, I can feed your excuses of cuisine to the 'old guard" and they would spit it out and take laxatives to flush whats left out of their system. Theres no more oomph, no more sweet melancholy. Give me back my NEWTON HAWKER CENTRE. I taste generic food whose taste could have easily come from flavoring.

I don't know what it is, it could be the sweat I drip when I eat, or the confusing ambience , but I love the old newton, the new one's just cold, lifeless. So yea, I can now only imagine the tastes and flavors that the old Newton brought, unable to realise them ever again. Viva la Modernisation.

Ritual

2008-11-25T21:57:00.004+08:00

Well I have been dodging blogging for some time now. Its a bit difficult to describe this love hate relationship that I have with inmysenses.

On one hand I simply cannot enough of get the sheer bliss of exorcising whatever angst and inner demons that I have suppressed in my life. Yet, I can't bear to sit in front of my computer and perform this ritual. For you entertainment buffs, its like watching GOSSIP GIRL and not wanting the know the ending. On one hand, you want to watch what happens to Serena and our all so innocent Dan, yet you don't really want to see that happy ending. You feelin' me?

Well, like Gossip Girl, I cannot take it no more.The unknown and yet uncontrollable urge to blog has taken over. So here I am.

So, my parents have been gone for more than a week now and I must say solitude is not all such a bad thing. The harsh silence of the house has become a rather sweet melody that I enjoy humming to. Only to be broken by the smokey voices of Mrs Fitzgerald and Mr Sinatra, this is my version of a quantum amount of solace. Well I must say that this hiatus has been good for me to contemplate life in general.

I am gravid with thoughts and ideas. I am smitten by melancholy. I think its high time that I really reconnect with my friends I have met over the years. The Emerald City is a festering ground for failed relationships. Also, I have been thinking of becoming more laid back, I guess articles that quote stress as the major contributor to the common illness, has flash-backed and dawned on me. So here I am trying to me nice and more laid back. Ironically enough, its pretty stressful to change myself. (RAWR)

So now, as my purging is near complete, I guess this parent-less has been nothing short of interesting. Ideas in hand and resolve carelessly left behind, I venture forward to life. Thankfully I got God to help me. Can't see myself venturing into this without some divine intervention.

(In the spirit of Gossip Girl)
XOXO

Blog and Life Resuscitation

2008-11-09T21:48:00.003+08:00

Its sad, almost tragic. What am I talking about? The state of my blog of course. I owe its dilapidated state due to the mundane living that I have been experiencing recently. The recent months have been an anti thesis to the stock market. There is no volatility, no highs, no lows, surreal sedentary. Its no wonder that there is nothing to talk about.

Like a black and white film in slow motion. I feel like the only guy standing still in a busy train station while everyone rushes about, doing their daily affairs. (I think I said this before).Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to be emo or feel depress. Its just a salient reflection of what I am feeling now. I am lackadaisical. I am sluggish. I am bored stiff with this Emerald City!

Yet as life continues in cruise control. I can't help but feel a greater appreciation for her nuances, her quietness that paves a way unfamiliar melody,peaceful and calm some thing which has eluded most of us kids for the past 12 years. Like a distant star that appears to blink, its all but visual trickery, like how the star's light emits constantly, so my life sails by steadily.

It may seem contrary, but come to think of it I am beginning to like this foreign life of mine. No so much for the lack of women but for the lack of personal worries. For example, last week's only worry was, who the hell bought those 4 AK47s at Zouk on Sat. Not really your "bailout" decision/worry. Its great. Like a third person watching the world whizzes by. Like the man enjoying his cup of cappuccino in DeliFrance while watching the busy office people rush by in the rain. How all so fantastic.

But can't wait for the uni holidays, maybe it would inject a little excitement to Ian's consistency. I am still young you know.. resuscitation

"It'll Be Just As Quiet When I Leave, Like It Was When I First Came Here"

2008-09-29T21:27:00.003+08:00

Bonjour Monsieur/ Madam and all you Madamoiselles. So I rolled into a month of French class, and I can't say that I have become those fictitious French lovers. My French does not swoon women, it causes them to fall, and roll in laughter that is.

Well, I am in one of my melancholic moods once again. Wondering how the pleathora of friendships made in JC are slowly fading into nothing-ness. Friends slowly assimilating themselves into different social networks or continents. Oblivious to their gradual departure.

I seem to be stuck in a silent movie. Where the main character just stands in the middle of a square (or train station) while everyone else is walking along their way, and in fast forward. Well, as I am hit my the on rushing revelation that people move one, let me take this time to tell you me friends that I am truly blessed to meet you.

So as the credits role and Rachel Yamagata's "quiet" comes to an end. I think my melancholy has once again be kept in check again. But save for the tears and the fact that I still have a cadre of friends. Its all very depressing. Very depressing.

Adieu

Lamentation

2008-06-22T21:38:00.003+08:00

While listening to "season of love", the OST of RENT the musical, I just wondered how pessimistic that song was. As if 525800 mins were all that we really had. I mean can't we sub divide it to to view even those precious seconds? Well maybe the watch was not as complex as it was then. Food for thought.

Well after that rather forgettable lamentation, I wondered how life was a tad bit mundane now. Life in the Emerald City has not been all that exciting. I mean sure, pure regimentation and discipline create predictability and I don't really like surprises. But I want some thing more. Hopefully those French and driving classes would help. Its all rather surreal to me at the moment.

I guess its the transition phase of life. A pity that the girls are not enjoying this phase. We could all use with some 'hang' time. But no, they go on with the usual monotonous cycle of education. Learning more to learn more. wondering about the future and the job prospects. Instead here I am completely clueless as to what I want to do only thinking about the 'now' and not even giving a fleeting thought about the 'future'. The dichotomy is obvious and worst of all, I seem in no hurry to consider the later.

As I finish my glass of dark rum and lime, I think I will reserve those thoughts for another time. No need to rush, its time to take it easy and try to enjoy the Edmerald City as much as I can.

Music of the type:
Artist: Bananarama
Song: Love in the first degree/ Venus

Facebook Memories

2008-06-10T20:21:00.003+08:00

Well, even though the medium may change, the effect is still as profound. While I was surfing facebook, I stumbled upon a montage of photos during the AC days. Something that somehow awash my memories of the rolling good times that I had not too long ago. Those images were so recent yet so distant. As though they had happened a decade ago. But well, they are less than half a year old.

That old melancholy rose up again, like a tidal, it fills me up with the excitement that I felt when I was still studying and not wearing green. Its amazing how we don't really miss something till it is not there. How we were all so eager to grow up and 'face' the world only to regret it later and wished that we could reverse the clock and go back to our infancy. The innocence and clueless-ness of adolescence life. Tis, we are now made to face the maturity of our soon to be adulthood. More aware of the situation and more distinctively clear of the material concerns encircling our lives.

I can't help but look back at those JC days with great joy and regret. Joy for all the good times that it had generated, for the great friendship that it had bloomed and all the quirky moments that it ensued. Yet, I am tainted with regret. Perhaps, I could have done more in AC, perhaps, I could have made more friends, Be a better senior? (Nah) and perhaps, I could have made it last longer ( that idea has not left my mind since j2). Well all that said and done, all that I can do now is muster the remainder of my memories and jot them down into this journal of sorts. All I can do is can them in the world wide web. SO that when I am down and alone and feeling blue, there would be a source to remember them. Maybe one day the class of 2aa5/2007 will sit down and laugh back at these times. But till then, as scan the facebook profiles again, I can't help but feel a sense of school patriotism welling inside me. I guess, and I hope that the best is yet to come.

Music for the type:
Tittle: Round About Midnight
Artist: Gotan Projet

Hiatus

2008-06-08T19:47:00.002+08:00

Ok, after a very long 4 month hiatus, I think I am back to blogging. I guess, the hectic life of post enlistment and of course the need to remain in contact with JC mates had taken a toll on my online time. But, as I said, I think I am back.

So much things have happened in the last few months, too much in fact to narrate it here on this blog. Instead, lets talk about the greatness of what is going to develop soon. Army has gone into cruise control- the constancy of it is amazing. The need to keep in touch with my friends have not been easy. Its hard to go from seeing people on an everyday basis to possibly a monthly basis. slowly but surely, it results a depreciating of contact. Like denatured tips of synapses, the efficient of friendships have fell. But it should be all good soon. Its not like friendship is a presidential campaign, is it?

Ok as i sink into my melancholic mood, I can't help but feel a sense of over expectation and surrealism. Its as if I am not really living this life. As in this phase of life is just a dream- a realistic one at that. 2 years, of carefree living, 2 years of not really doing anything and getting paid at that, well it does sound good.

As i try to pull my thoughts together, i just can't help but sink and render myself to my melancholy. So till the next time when I muster the strength to type again, adieu.

Music of the type:
Artist: AMY WINEHOUSE
Album: Frank

ENERGIZER

2008-02-20T21:47:00.003+08:00

Like a clock that has ran out of batteries, so too has my blog stopped moving for this passage of time. And just like how time does not halt even though the clocks batteries have stopped, so too has my life been ticking away. Now, time to but batteries back into this blog.

Well well it has been close to 3 weeks since army came into my life, and boy it has been a roller coaster of a trip. Due to my absurd laziness, I will not be relating it to you now. But I will in the posts to come. Anyhow just to let you know, I am out of Tekong and back into civilization. And my experience awaits you avid readers.

PS: I work a day 'job' now so call me if you are free

One Circle

2008-01-21T21:50:00.000+08:00

And so it is, 4 days remaining and there goes my freedom. It makes sense that this post is here, considering that you don't miss something until it is really gone. Think about this analogy: One day you do something wrong and your mum bans you from going out. Then being grounded and made to stay at home suddenly becomes sad and depressing. This is even though you have not been going out for the past few days and have been having a jolly good time at home.

You see when one is robbed of a certain liberty, he/she begins to treasure it even more. Its human nature I guess. Well I certainly feel this depression and sadness, as army will rob me of this freedom. The point I am trying to drive is this, do appreciate and treasure whatever you have now. I know that this will probably sound corny and seem like one of life's great quotes. But in actual fact this cannot be nearer to the truth. We go through our daily innings in life without seriously appreciating what she bears. We are so focused on tomorrow that we neglect today(another famous quote). Think about it, can you remember what you have done today or yesterday? Have we once stopped to think about the wonderful things that happened in life. Like how we witnessed acts of kindness in the office or school. When was the last time that you enjoyed a sunset?

If the answer to these questions are blanks, then its time for a serious reevaluation of our life. Although it is good to have a life driven by profits and other material trappings. How can we just use statistics and bankbooks to judge the overall satisfaction that we get. How can we say that Donald Trump is happier and leads a more meaningful life than a monk? Well, we cant. Going back to my point, its time we begin to treasure Life more. Take the time to reflect on what happened during the day. Ask yourself how your day went, and try to take note of the wonderful things that happened to you and around you. Treasure it. With all the bad news in this world, we can do with some positive reinforcement.

So I wrap this up this post feeling more refreshed and less dreading army, after all like life, maybe I will find happiness there. Maybe the army will bring more life stories to learn from and fond memories to cherish.

2008-01-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

Alright, one good post deserves a another eh. So this is dedicated to my friend, my loyal dog and in the eyes of Mr Loh, my gay buddy. Jerome. You have been there with me for at least the last one year and ten months, and I have to admit it has been a blast. Unlike you I remembered the first time I met you. We were auditioning for choir. For us it was a chance to get into ACJC. For you it was a breeze, singing and melodies came naturally to you. For me, it was sheer desperation, thus the unpolished gem joke. Anyhow yes, we both made it back but definitely through different means. You through singing, me through sheer favor.

And lo and behold we ended up in the same class. So it began a wonderful friendship. It seemed that we had gyming as a similar past time and that's how we got to know each other. I guess, spotting for someone did create trust and always being late for lesson due to gyming had the same profound effect.

Yes, even though you take my food all the time and continuously make fun of me and Sheranne, it somehow got us closer. Yes, you had your fair share of jokes of your flamboyant love life, although I doubt the girl you had in secondary school was any thing but buoyant. Hahaha. It was good to have you in math lessons and lectures, firstly cause your math was pretty good and cause you always had food with you. Especially during J1. Lessons were fun too, you were always a wonderful photo opportunity. You don't know the amount of times I have you sleeping in everything from GP to lit to math. Of course your clumsy manner and your proneness to be the butt of the jokes made it good fun. Remembered you had your pants the wrong way during PE? I still have the picture.

So even after graduation, we are still tight. And I guess that I am blessed to have you as a friend and I hope that you feel the same too. So here's to a wonderful friendship and one that will grow when we go to the army. Here's to mutual acquaintances turning into profound friendship.

My Muse

2008-01-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

Some people have told me that my blog is different and that it is not like your normal blog. Well, thank you for that. I take that as a great complement. Let me dedicate this post to talk about my inspiration for the subjects that I talk about on this page.

Well firstly, Inmysense was created to serve as a mirror to my life-obviously. But more importantly, it served as a vessel to express my frustrations at certain happenings around the world and to express my anger at the criminality over some vile and heinous acts against society on the whole. Posts such as 'confessions of a taxi driver', 'while I was being educated', 'somethings very wrong when you need to be educated by an 18 year old', etc. All serve as a foil to reveal the lack of etiquette, the struggles of the individuals in society and the lack of a positive in the world. I hope to create a human face and reveal to you that the situations such as poverty, lack of mannerisms, war,etc are all real and that they are affecting people and that they are not just statistics that you read in the papers. Breeding Humanity.

Secondly, I had created the blog with the intention of it not being just solely a narrative of my life. I mean do people really want to read a page where I tell you what I had for breakfast, lunch and dinner, what color underwear I wore or who I think is a bitch. Well, I don't think that is the case. Either way, I wanted the post to have a meaning behind it. Basically there is a moral to all the post and provide more commentary as oppose to a plain narration. This probably explains the lack of post that I have, it is not so much that I don't have anything to say as oppose to me having nothing meaningful to say.

I guess these are the 2 founding principles of my blog. Thus the name, inmysenses.

The Reeling Return to Reality

2008-01-17T19:18:00.001+08:00

After much practice, the key pad now feels a whole lot better and more familiar, thus I will attempt to post another article.

Well, the army epiphany has smacked me again and voila! Its going to happen in about seven days! Whoah that was fast, the last thing I remembered was having finished that literature exam and thinking :"Now, I have all the time in the world to rest and relax". Well I guess time does fly when you are having fun- even as cheesy as that saying goes.

Well the 2 months of complete freedom, where I need not worry about another year in school, doing holiday homework, or listen to the incessant nagging of my parents have sadly come to an abrupt halt. The whirlwind months have a been wonderful and have proved to be productive in a spiritual and social sense- not so much the monetary. Life was good. Yet, like an extended holiday, it is time that I get back on the plane and depart back to the real life. Army heralds and so does university for the girls and all those other work and world related 'mundanes'. Nevertheless always the more, these are inevitable and I am beginning to try and embrace it. These 2 months of unbridled freedom will come to a close and its back to black. Where black represents the dull, monotonous and those incessant nagging.

I am smitten by the on rushing kaleidoscope that we all know so well as life. The friends, the work, the social life and the personal life has all been jumbled and contorted into this one image that we go through day after day. Yet, we brave through it day after day, trying to make sense of the unfamiliar and pretending to pass it of as the familiar. I am now re-entering this kaleidoscope where everything is jumbled and there is no clarity and only filled with ambiguity. The traditional black and white have been replaced with the thousands of hues in between.

Oh my, its more depressing than I thought. Its time like these when the belief of a greater being that controls your life provides a relief. O help me, God.

Darn Com

2008-01-12T23:00:00.000+08:00

Ahh good to be back in Singapore! I have just came back from amazing HONG KONG where the shopping was great, and the food even better. Wonderful place to be in, sadly I can't show you any photos now, my com is down and I am reduced to using a laptop that had won a good design award 10 years ago. Well, the days are slowly ticking by, and army apprehension is kicking in. Do I really need to waste 2 years of my life doing this? will I fit in? well the questions are endless, just like the endless worries I have.

Well, I guess all I can do is suck it up. Anyhow due to my fingers aching from typing on this minuscule key pad, I will keep the post brief. See you

08

2008-01-01T20:58:00.001+08:00

Welcome to 2008. The beginning of the new year. A year that promises to be more exciting, more intriguing and most of all greener (army that is). Mostly everyone else will probably be telling you what they resolve to do in 2008 and how they want to become smarter, nicer, etc. But the question is, do you really need a new year to do all these things? Anyhow to just get into the season of things, I will be one of these mindless people too. So here is my resolutions for the year 2008:

1. I resolve to not change too much in the army.
I know how they say that upon going to the army one becomes like the hooligan on the street. So I resolve that I wont turn up to become like those vulgar and expletive spouting individual. Its not good for my rep. Not healthy too, makes me look so uncouth.

2.I resolve never to smoke or do drugs.
OK this is a follow up of my previous goals that I had set in December. But no drugs or smoking for me. Its too physically damaging to be good. Too expensive too. Well yea so no drugs or smoking! NEVER.

3. I resolve to keep closer contact with my friends.
This has been already emphasized in my post 'connecting people' but it serves best to be reminded. Anyhow so to all my JC mates, watch out! we will be catching up real soon.

4. I resolve to make more money!
-Self explanatory-

Alright that what I can think of now, will add more when I can think of more. After all one does not need a new year to change.

Somethings very wrong when you need an 18 year old to teach you manners.

2007-12-30T22:08:00.001+08:00

I have heard about Asian hospitality and how we Asians are a courteous bunch of people. Rich in the traditional belief of filial piety and respecting our elders. But even though these praises have been heaped on us, it seems that it has failed to manifest in our Singapore.

I was taking a bus the other day and as usual the lack of punctuality in our bus services led to a very crowded bus. Well the bus ride was half way done when and elderly couple got on the bus. When I say elderly, I don't mean 40 year old elderly, I mean 60 year old elderly. Well you could tell that they probably would not last the bus ride standing up (They had trouble already getting on board let alone standing there).

Yet as usual everyone sitting on the bus acted as though they were 'busy' with something, no matter how trivial that something is. I mean, how would inspecting the wires of your phone constitute to doing something that would not let you see 2 elderly people struggling to stand up and looking for a seat? Well, peeved at this I gave up my seat- which was close to the front- which the elderly person gladly accepted. Well it took another bus stop before the guy next to me-Mr wire inspector- to follow suite.

Well I guess there are 2 observations from this:
#1: The lack of compassion or thinking of the needs of others
#2: The obvious hesitance to do the right thing even when someone else has led the way.

Now all you older Singaporeans (30 and 40 year old), you have constantly complained on those reality talk shows that the youths of Singapore are without manners and without any courtesy. Well, shame on you. You don't even practice what you preach. Not only do you not set a good example for the young to follow, but you also fail to practice it when someone has already led the way. Tsk tsk tsk. I hope I do not grow up to become like you people.

Now some of you people may be going 'hey those older people may have legitimate reasons for not giving up'. Well if there was such a reason I did not see it. O maybe it could be that they needed to shop for a long time later and needed to rest their legs that sit on those Gucci slippers. Or could it be that their 3 inch heels will be spoil it they are stood on for too long. Could it be that it is too difficult to juggle both listening to your i-pod, to text message and hold the bus rails at the same time? Trivial and superficial nonsense!

There is something called the 'order of priorities'. What it means is that one should do something if the benefit is greater than the other. To apply this to this illustration. We all have reason to remain on our seats. Even I did. But the point of the mater is, we need to weigh our reason to the priority of others who need it more. I am certain that it does not require a rocket scientist to tell you that the reason why the elderly couple needed the seat is better than any reason that you could conjure up. Yet, you do nothing.

Imagine if everyone was like this. How 'fun' will it will be. The buses will probably watching something from a dystopian movie.Where the old are sideline and made to be at the mercy of the young. Where no one on the streets says 'hi' to each other and walk along their merry way shoving and pushing anyone that may stand in their way. Where no one goes 'excuse me' and how they sneeze or cough without covering their mouths. For the discerning few, you will realize that this is happening right now! How unfortunate for our society.

What I am emphasizing here is that we need to be more sensitive to the needs of others. How does one say that we are civilized when basic empathy and manners are missing. This is not civilized behavior, this is rabid animalistic nature! A winner take all mentality, a completely self centered nature. We need to change this, I challenge you to take the first step.

Absolut ACJC?

2007-12-28T22:19:00.000+08:00

I just listened to Abba's "thank you for the music", and it somehow stirred all the memories of the past 2 years. My My, this AC years have been good, real good.

Let me allude these 2 years to a how I drink alcohol. First I will sniff the vodka and instinctively a smile will creep to my face. Its uncontrollable, almost intrinsic. Then I will sip it and let it roll in my mouth getting the taste buds acquainted with that Oh so wonderful taste. Yes, it stings for a while but soon enough it taste as sweet as honey and rolls so smoothly. Then I gulp it down, it burns while it travels down the throat and continues to do so in my stomach. Ultimately it kicks in and the overall satisfaction is felt.

ACJC has been such. The first 3 months had been like sniffing the vodka the orientation and the friend making was O so great and O so alluring. Eventually the sting came. Endless homework, those boring lecturers that could but a sloth to shame all announced the end of those happy months. Yet, like all things, we get used to it. The homework came to us as a necessary evil and the excuses for not handing them up came as easily falling asleep during morning devotions. Yes, life rolled on with CCAs, endless visits to watch the performing arts and cheering our teams in tow. Life had been acquainted with ACJC and she had taken well to her. The taste of JC life was like the vodka, it was bitter sweet. It was filled with ups and downs. It was both painful and yet fulfilling. It was addictive. Then came the study of As. Time suddenly had decided to increase her tempo, the work piled up even higher, the competition dates drew. like all the liquid draining from the mouth to the throat, so was all the work piling itself up on the bottleneck of time.The pressure was great, the brain engagement level, high. Then the pressure settled in to boil for the greater part of November. Only, unleashing in euphoria as the last paper ended, the last full stop met the last page. Tis it all ended.

JC life as I knew it was over, yet the JC high was still there. Those friends I made still lingered. Much like the vodka taste. So heres a salute to all you people from ACJC who read this blog. Thanks for much and being there all. As I raise my glass of Baileys to you all, I wish you all the best in the life ahead and hope, that our friendship lingers on.

Agape? Eros? Phileo?

2007-12-28T00:56:00.001+08:00

The Greeks used different adjectives to describe love. Each adjective (see tittle) reflected to magnitude of love with Agape meaning deep love and 'Phileo' describing a like. Such is the profound nature of this highly elusive and unpredicatble emotion

Case in point: There was a couple. They had been friends for the longest time and decided to take it to another level. You can probably imagine that the result was not eventful (or else I wont be blogging this right?) Well the break up came swift and fast and ended in weeks. Now the girl does not like the guy and feels jaded and used like those toys which you lose interest in after a few weeks. Needless to say she feels that the friendship of 2 years have festered along with the relationship. She wants nothing to do with him anymore and feels she has lost more than him.

Alright with the basis now set, let me provide you my opinion as I reflect on this.

To the couple: I am sorry that this had to happen. One would have thought that the 2 years of friendship would have served as a foundation rather than a destabilizing factor. Well what ever it is, I sure do hope that the 2 years are not 'wasted' and that I am sure a friendship is still possible. After all both of you seem to hold the saying that ' its history'. Thus if so, I don't see why you cannot start anew. I feel that even though you say it, both of you seem to show that you cannot forget what happened. I am glad that you can't, it shows you are human. To deviate, we are all individuals that are made up memories. Our character is sculpted by that. To simply forget the past is as good as forgetting yr memories- both good and bad. In doing so aren't you simply losing part of yourself? So now the 2 of you are at odds with each other, I am sure you can sit down and settle this. Don't lose the friendship! Its not worth it.

To the guy: this relationships are special. So don't use the 'thats life' excuse. We need to grasp these experiences and somehow draw a lesson from them. For example, in this case, you should try to see what went wrong. Was your mind in the right place but your heart in someone else's'? Since you asked her, I would seemingly think you are more to blame as you initiated it but you could not sustain it. But thats just me. Yea, I hope you know what you are doing.

To the girl: I just talked to you so I got lots to say. Ok first, theres no such thing as in "I think I suffered more than him" Love is not a study of economics. There is no marginal costs between 2 parties. Both of you suffered so don't feel that you got the shorter end of the stick. Cause in fact both of you drew short sticks.

People have different ways of dealing with problems. He seems to shun it and blame it life, you on the other hand blame him! Ok you may be right to do that but can you really put complete blame on him? It takes 2 hands to clap remember. Well, like I told you earlier, learn from this relationship but certainly don't lose the friendship.

Alright, thats all I have to say even though this situation is completely distinct, problems like this are extremely common yet the solution generic.

TIME WILL HEAL ALL WOUNDS? I hope in your case its true.

CHRISTmas

2007-12-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

Okay, its 12am here is Singapore and Christmas day has officially begun. 20 seconds has elapsed and it feels no different from the 24th or any other day. Yet, today has a special meaning. A meaning that has lasted for almost 2000 years, a meaning that has transcended geographical boundaries. A meaning that is beginning to be lost.

Well, the theme of Christmas is of course celebrated by Christians. It marks the day in which Jesus (our savior) was born and marks the day in which salvation for the world begins. It also marks the day in which the wise men from the far east brought Gold, mirth and frankincense as gifts to worship Jesus. So thats Christmas in a nutshell, the salient theme here is the ushering of joy, happiness, an overall idea of giving and of course, thanking the lord. Well obviously the world, especially shop owners have embraced the idea of giving gifts. After all, more gifts mean more ringing in the cash registers. A must in our capitalistic and profit driven economy.

So now, I will at least try to shed light on the more elusive part of Christ-mas. Christmas is a time of not only buying and receiving gifts-as fun as they might be. But it encompasses a deeper and more profound meaning to it. You see, today marks the day in which some one who felt deep compassion for the people decided to do something for the people. For he was in a unique position in which he could die and at the same time absorb all the other sins and filth of the people, thus liberating these people from the chasms of sin and torment. Braving the fears and doubts and motivated by love, he did just that. And in doing so, saving the people, provided they believed of his work. Obviously, that guy is Jesus and I just summarized his entire life.
But before I plunge into a sermon, let me gather up the significance of this story.

Be it you be an atheist, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu or any religion for that matter. The work of this person is definitely to be admired and adored. For once, forget that the nativity story is about a Christian God and just take a step back and see this Jesus as a mere man. See him as a person. It will probably strike you that the action of this man is certainly honorable, selfless and moving. That emotion is the THEME of Christmas holidays for all religions. The lesson of caring for someone else. For putting someone first. For sacrificing a bit of ones interest, for some one else's. It behooves me to emphasize that Christmas is not the only day that we should do this. But it should certainly be a time for us to remember that.

BLESSED CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!

Confessions of a cab driver #3

2007-12-24T02:31:00.000+08:00

Well, the last time I did this, all was well in the realm of taxi fares. Flag down rate was $2.50 and ever 200m or more was a beautiful 10 cents. But now, Oh my the balance has been disturbed. the dark tide of flag down rates at $2.80 and every 325m at a whopping 20 cents have decended in a austere cloud of darkness. Cab companies have been forced to turn to the dark side. Led by none other than oligopoly leader Comfort 'Darth-gro'. Together they have teamed up spreading pain and havoc into the leather wallets of commuters. Its clone army of Toyotas and other Japanese manufactured cars have enslaved the commuters leaving them with only 3 choices, Pay up, settle for public transport or learn to drive.

I had the pleasure of taking and talking to a cab uncle today, and I must say, he remained rather undecided as to the outcome of this new hike. When I talked to him, I asked him for his thoughts. He initially thought that it was a good initiative and allow him to make more money. But when I probed further, he admitted that NTUC should reduce the rental which is $94 a day-cabbies on average make $82 a day. A complete contradiction to his initial assertion!

I guess his reactions is reflected in almost all of us- commuters and cab drivers. We are profoundly confused at this new hike. What was the initial problem that allowed for this scheme to be sanctioned? Was it the rentals or the lacks of cabs in the CBD during peak hours?. Next, did it address the problem? would increasing fares solve the CBD issue indefinitely? would it mean that cabbies will find it more lucrative to be cabbies? Finally, if it does not solve the problem, then what exactly is the hike based on? This conundrum seems barely to be addressed, let alone explained.

So where do I go from here, I am about to reach my place. I asked the driver one last question. What should I do. He tells me to voice my concerns and let the needs of the commuters and drivers be heard. I got home and thought about it, and this is what I derived:

To whoever is reading this, please do something to change the new policy. If not, at least try to voice out the concerns you feel (and I know you have concerns). Don't remain apathetic and think that 'the world will never listen to me, so I will just watch it spin and do nothing.' This mentality will only make you a mindless clone who is completely passive. The fact of the mater is that you do make a difference. Like voting, every vote counts. Just look at the recent election, the PAP had a marginal victory over the workers party. That has completely got to do with the hundred of so votes that were cast. Emphasizing the power you yield.

I for one will now take this lying down. I am currently designing a shirt that will probably say :
"Will rather walk that accept exorbitant hikes". Don't get me wrong, I am not a political dissident. I just think that the message that this sudden and rapid hikes need to be addressed and not brushed aside.

Ok, this has been another episode of confessions of a cab driver. My young padawans, even though the dark side is strong, the force certainly can challenge it. Take heed, you must. Voice your concerns, you will. May the force of pro activeness be with you.

'connecting people'

2007-12-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

Well, after an arduous day in orchard fending off these crazy shoppers who probably have a fetish for getting caught in crowds, my list is almost done. Today was great fun and the past few weeks have made me understand the need to 'remaining in touch'.

My readers, I think that at this juncture of my life (which happens to be a time in which I am deep in thought whilst lifeguarding at the pool deck of Temasek club, listening to 'lush' and enjoying a ham pita sandwich), I really do feel that keeping in touch is not important but a key stone in life. When I mention keeping in touch, I don't just mean the usual 'hi', 'bye', 'see you later' kind of keeping in touch. I mean developing the friendship and making a profound effort to compromise, understand and effectively foster relationships.

I thank God that many good friends have come my way in this post 'A' level period. New friends like Han, Kiat, Wei Ting and Penguin all serve to complement my growing friendship with Jerome, Yanni, Kuoks and Chris. Thanks guys for being such wonderful people (sorry about Bangkok). Anyhow, I will end this post with 2 advice for you all.

#1(from Joel): Stick to a close and well knitted group of friends. No point of building a vast network of fair weather individuals.

#2: Keep in touch, don't just say 'see you' when you probably won't even try to do that. Make good of your friendships and your promises-at least try to. In a single word, CHERISH.

All I want for Christmas is you

2007-12-18T23:00:00.001+08:00

If Christmas was this easy:

"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you You

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me

Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is You

All I want for Christmas is you baby
All I want for Christmas is you baby."

Yes yes, Christmas is round the corner and unlike the song that Mariah sang, it sure ain't only about having someone. Well, if that were the case, it would definitely make these toy producers all jittery.

But there is something to be discerned about the lyrics to this song. Imagine a Christmas in which presents are not the raison de entre. Imagine a Christmas in which the people here celebrate each other and not Hasbro,Mattel or Chanel products. Imagine a Christmas where we actually remember that this was the birth date of Jesus.

I am certainly not telling you to return celebrating Christmas by only going to church and doing nothing else. I am just reminding you readers that theres more to Christmas. Lets not lose the meaning of this holiday to product manufacturers and shop owners, aiming to cash in on the holiday. With that said and done, I need to do some shopping now.

adieu

TAXi

2007-12-17T14:18:00.001+08:00

And so it begins. Today the new pricing scheme for taxis have kicked in, for Comfort taxis that is. I had the pleasure of riding a comfort taxi on its maiden day. I have to admit that I felt the pinch. The question on my mind -while I watched in trepidation as the meter, which seemed to be increasing at a uncanny and almost insane rate-was how am I going to pay for this? I don’t mean in the literal sense, I made sure I increased how much I carried by 49%, the same amount of the purported increase. Instead, the question of where this added 49% is going to come from is a more macro and long-term question.

The increase in the taxi fare is certainly warmly welcomed by cab drivers, yet what about the commuters? I do understand that this hike is considered ‘inevitable’ and that even with the hike; it is still comparable to the fees charged in Hong Kong. But this does not answer the question, which I am posing. Where is the added fee going to come from? My pay has certainly not increased by 49%! The end result of this hike is childishly simple. The commuters suffer. They have to now pay more for exactly the same service. Although the hikes may have been ‘inevitable’ does this warrant such a sudden and drastic increase? I don’t believe it does. The magnitude of increase is simply ludicrous!

Furthermore, I would like to touch on the simultaneous increase by all other cab companies, except for prime taxis (bless your souls). The liberalisation of the taxi industry by the Singapore government had been to incite competitiveness. Instead, all the other companies have conformed to the prices of the big boss (comfort). Where is the competitiveness there? If there were any competitiveness, it would mean that prices would be falling, as the firms will seek to lower their cost so as to produce cheaper price service to increase its customers. Instead, we see this monopolistic nature that we are so familiar with in the oil industry. Where the producers increase prices across the board so as to gain more profit. Undermining the government’s previous intentions to increase competitiveness.

Some say that this hikes help to solve the problem of the lack of taxis in the CBD during peak hours. Does it? If this were the case, why not just have the hikes only for peak hours. Instead, the hikes are effective everywhere, I did not know that there was a lack of taxis in the Clementi. This does emphasize that the reason for this hikes does not hold water. Sure, it is substantiated in the city during peak hours. But at other times, it merely looks like an unprecedented hike that lacks reason.

I do understand that cab drivers are complaining about the increase rents and how life is hard for them. Yet, it does not give taxi companies the right to increase these prices, thereby affecting another group of individuals-the people who take cabs. Instead of addressing the problem of higher rents, they have only tried to offset it by increasing rates. Ie, they are not solving the problem. Only alleviating it. Where’s the logic in that?

Sylp my yarbles!

2007-12-04T20:44:00.000+08:00

Fuck it! its not going to fucking happen. You can't get STD from doing the tongue. Its as what they say, damn sway and damn unlikely. Anyhow whatever it is, I think this has reminded me to keep myself in check for a while. Besides, if anything happens she will show the symptoms first. Hahaha

Note to self: keep close contact with her for 90 days, thats the time they claim that the symptoms will show. hmm.

Aside from that shit, it was all good and prom was a blast. Finally that suit paid off. Shame that the $99 did not mean really good food.

Pity that we take things for granted and not fucking give a shit about the outcome till we are having breakfast at coffee bean and sitting around friends are discussing it.

Friendster and A Psychological illness

2007-12-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

Ok, I know its abit early to blog again especially after the previous post, but I just could not help it. The topic: your stupid friendster profiles. The problem: number one, you don't use your real names. Number two, you have every other photo except yours. I mean how the hell am I to know who the hell you are.

To address the first problem. Do you have occasions in which you are surfing your friendster profiles and come across a name like 'Akura' or '3vil crazy' and '~l~'? I mean what the hell? I am sure your parents don't call you that do they? and if they don't call you that, they certainly don't give you those names. What are you thinking? '3vil crazy' it sounds like a name that the devil will give his son so that he can grow up to be like him. Ps: its not a good nickname either, unless you are really evil and crazy and in that case, why are you not located to Woodbridge?

On this topic of names, have you notice this trend of adding punctuations to the front of it so that your name appears first in the list? (eg. ~name) I certainly have seen it and I find this utterly hilarious. What satisfaction do you get from being first on the list? (yes, adding these will make your appear first on a list of names) Last I checked I will chat to anyone whether you are in the first, middle or last place. Please, for gods sake, unless the punctuations are there because you want me to pronounce it that way, please get it off. Its embarrassing and infantile.

Secondly, the picture. How does one manage to have no pictures of one self in a 21 picture album? Unless you have boils going all over your face and worms festering in them, please add some pictures of yourself. How else can we identify you? (especially if have those special names mentioned above) i know this may seem like incessant ranting but, theres a deeper implication to this.

These 2 behaviors reveal certain characteristic of an individual. Namely a low self esteem and a sense of wanting to be known ie. attention seeking disorder. Although not serious in the sense of being a medical condition. It certainly reveals a lot about yourself and how you feel about you. word of advice, don't seek for others to define who you are, merely confirm it.

If you don't love you, who else will? I have to go now, my "m" is calling me.

Hmmm....

2007-12-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

What a week this has been. To briefly summarize this week, I will pick up from Tuesday. Wednesday was mambo jambo night, and if you have paid attention to my display nick, you will realize that I spent most of it sprawled on the floor. The reason? simple. Wine, Contrineau and Baileys don't mix well in your body. Friday was out with Teresa and Jerome couple with dinner with Kenneth, his brother and his wife. Which brings us to today. Prom shopping,Hitman,gym, suana.

Phew, it makes me tired just thinking of it. Well it was fun and I am throughly enjoying this new post A level, "I have no more school for the next 2 years" life. But, whilst I was lamenting to myself while sitting in the suana, I began to wonder if this is all "right".

I mean, the lifestyle now is definitely more enjoyable then the one suffered 2 weeks ago. But am I am not just substituting one hectic schedule for the other? Does it really make a difference?

*************************************************************************************
I am typing this after a few moments of thought and I conclude that I like this life! it has been great! But now, more than ever, I need to strike a balance. I need to have some days where I spend the time to get lost. I need to have days where I can nestle on the couch and read a book. I need to have days where I will wake up early, watch commuters rush to work and take stock as to how good I got it. Yet, I need to have days of mambo. Days of boozing and endlessly strolling around orchard.

I guess it boils down to balance and I do hope that I can achieve that. You know what, screw this I am going to relax now and let my mind drift.Time is on my side and so is life and God.
Adieu.

2007-11-27T21:08:00.000+08:00

Oh my freaking GOD. At last the As are OVER! the four weeks of torment has finally come to a resounding halt. It has been one heck of an A levels, and I kid you not when I say that four weeks is just too damn long a duration for any exam to last.

Anyway, aside from this the end of exams has been eventful. After Lit, it was water rugby and then dinner with Jerome, Han, Chris, Kiat, Yanni, Wei Ting before having some jugs of "get fucked" and "sex on the beach", before stumbling home.

Morning was spent packing hiding all that educational material from my "party going" eyes. Then it was Suana time and a light swim before waking up now. What an eventful day. Ok then theres mambo tomorrow and maybe a gym session.

Till next time

While I was being educated (part I)

2007-11-24T20:59:00.000+08:00

This will be the first of a series of post that will be tittled "while I was being educated". The posts are aimed to kinda sum up what has been going on in the world as I have gone through my 12 years of 'fixed' education. I think it is somehow fitting as my JC years come to a close and I begin with a mandatory 2 years in the army ie a 2 year sabbatical from thinking, that I recapitulate what has happened these bittersweet 12 years.

For the first post, I will talk about the accession of reality TV series. In no other time period has the words "the tribe has spoken', and 'immunity' been so widely used. And lest we forget how traveling around the world could be such a strain. Top that off with multiple scandals caught on tapes and viewed by billions across the world. Yes! reality series has stormed themselves into our living room these 12 years and have become a staple diet in television programming.

What is all the fuss about? well I guess the reason why reality TV has gained such a foothold in TV programming is simple because we demand for it. We just can't enough of watching people have sex at night with completely unknown people, plot to vote off another person, scheme and bribe locals not to help others and basically to show the completely nasty side of human beings in which we wish we could enact but are unable to due to a supposed "civilized society". Well maybe it could be due to the highly fantastical notions of winning a cash prize and rising above ones social status. Either way reality TV has come a long way. The amount of spin offs from survivor, the amazing race, the contender, etc are too vast to count.

They have filled our TV sets with copious amounts of Darwinian theory in which the strongest survive. Where the weak are preyed upon and there is a constant struggle to maintain dominance through any means possible.

Is this really what we are advocating? To struggle? to scheme? to as what Pip says, show a very "bad side of human nature"? This I leave to you my readers to decide on you own.

2007-11-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

This week promises to be a rather relaxed one. The irony of this being that I am technically still having my A levels. Anyhow I will try to maintain my momentum. I hope.

On a lighter note, met up with Jerome and Chris yesterday for a spot of shopping, and coincidentally enough met xiang un along the way. Interesting how small Singapore is. Well I shall spare you the tiresome details of the experience only to let you know that everyone left with a plastic from Zara, Pedro or Kino. But it was a great time to catch up with friends. I NEED to do this more often, maybe with a nice mug of Heineken next to me.

I started to reflect and I think we need to enjoy life and take it easy. Life is too short for us to be running this rat race all the time. After all even if we do win this race, what does it make us? A champion rat? not an inviting thought. So I think it is time that we sincerely learn to appreciate Life. I use life as a noun simply because I am treating it as a living object.

You see, we have hardly considered Life and have simply been going about life. What Life gives us is more a wholesome, rich and meaningful. Yet we neglect her and treat her without much reverence.

Its time that we live Life and love Life.

"4 for more?"

2007-11-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

As I write this post, i am heaving a huge sigh of relief. Well, the bulk of the papers are over and the tensions of the A levels are slowly winding to a much anticipated close. The past four days have been a real mental and physical test. Four papers in four days and ten and a half hours later, I am still having a pretty sore right hand and an exhausted brain.

It did however, end on a good note. Had a good time with Han, Jerome, Xiang un, Boren, Shi han and Kiat last night, mm, this morning to be exact. Followed up with water rugby and Tin wai birthday celebration. I have literally gone 48 hrs with about 4 hours of rest.Boy! thats fun.

I do not know if it is some form of epiphany or not, but I think I have come to realized the profound importance of friendship. You know how we are told in school that friends are important and how and what a "good" friend should be. Yet, it is not until we really experience the deeds that allows not just our minds but our heart to comprehend. I guess it simply means the company, I am sure that we will not always agree all the time and sometimes we can say the most irate of things. Yet, somehow or rather its just a fleeting thought, a mere outburst of emotion.

Allow me to concrete this rather abstract idea. Look at friendship as a tree as the years go by, it will become bigger and bigger ie. the friendship fosters and begins to grow. Secondly, along with growing up, it grows down too. thus friendship, like a tree goes deeper into the soil of your life and reaches into deeper recesses in which pain and happiness occurs. Thus building a friendship that is stronger too.

Of course sometimes it sours, like when a primary branch of a tree is cut off. Sometime even the bark disappears. Yet, while we may feel that it is a loss, there is hope. Like grafting, we can grow that once dead branch again, and start anew.

Ok, I have rambled enough. I need to sleep.

Months later

2007-11-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

With a sudden spur of emotion and the need to get something off my chest, I have decided to resuscitate this dying blog of mine.

My my my, how much things have changed since the last time I decided to post something up. The A levels have hearald their arrival by giving me THE most stressful time in my life (so far), and my emotional life has been twisted in and out, and back in again fortunately or unfortunately not as bad as Han.

Well, time to bitch a little about this A levels. Dear Mr MOE, let me pour out my feelings about this wretched examination that I am experiencing. The revised A level program of 3H2sand 1H1 is not want you have claimed it to be. Instead of being a "lighter load", it has turned out to be like lead. Small but dense. Yes you heard me right. This perceived streamlined curriculum has done nothing to make our education more aerodynamic. Instead it makes us, well at least me, to feel that the load is heavier, the subjects more varied and ultimately, the A levels more difficult.

This is exacerbated by the paradoxical 'teach less learn more' theory. It is hard to learn more when teachers teach less and although self learning and discovery is suppose to substitute the teachers or 'mentors' , the problem lies in the fact that there is seriously no time for this fantastical idea of 'self discovery'.

Although I do have to admit that this education has churned out many bright minds and wonderful citizens, I just cant help feel that this system is not working out for me now.
Well, time to insert this life story here. Chances are, no one is going to read this post and even if someone does, probably apathy and this natural sense of "its not happening to me" mentality will set you. I am not exempted either, I will probably forget this episode once the papers end and I start the alcohol sessions.

Well, at least this is off my chest I really do hope that something will be done, but knowing this world, I don't expect too much.

"blackbirds fatten best in hard weather, why not I in these dog days?"

Carpe Diem!

2007-03-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

Well, before I begin this post, I would like to mention to you that this would probably the most sentimental one that I would be writing.

Life is a fragile and unexpected thing

My maid’s husband has just passed away and it is needless to say that she is in a shattered wreck right about now, and not even our condolences and the constant promise that we would be sending her on the first flight back to her hometown is doing anything positive to the situation. Of course the real impact of the situation is not being impressed upon me, partly due to the fact that she is just a maid in which my family hires and she has been here for bare half a year. However, I do feel for her. It is only the natural thing for me to do.

In life, nothing is definitive, especially when it comes to departing this world. Today you may be here; tomorrow you may not. You see, this is the thing about life, you don’t really dictate its movement, sure you can dictate the events within your life, but you just cannot dictate Life. Who knows if you will get stomach cancer? Who can safely say that they know that they will live to 70? I can’t.

Although I feel a bit ashamed of using this anecdote to illustrate my point, I do feel that the lessons that we can draw from this is worth it. In life, we can never know what would eventually become of us. Thus it is pertinent that we seize the day and any of the opportunities that she brings to us. For the opportunities may not come again, and it would be a shame that we have to live to regret it on our deathbed, slowly de-generating away.

Let us not live our lives on ‘what ifs’. ‘What if I had turned over a new leaf?’, ‘What if I had studied for that exam’, ‘What if I had not started drinking?’. We should instead make all these ‘what ifs’ into action and curb all our bad habits. For we may not be able to amend them, if we procrastinate them for another day.

I conclude this post in remembrance of all our kin and friends who have transcended the physical boundary which we call earth. May their lives be a testimony to which we can base ours on.

March-ing on

2007-03-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

Ahh the holidays are here and I guess it is once again a sweet intermission from stress. However, I would like to take this post to encourage my freinds who have not made it back to their JC of their choice.

You know how life is like a baseball game, and trouble, the thrower. You never know what he will present to you. It could be fast ball, a curve ball or a fake. Regardless of it, you can never be too sure of what to expect and more importantly, how to handle it. However this does not imply that you dont handle the situation thrust upon you. Instead, what you should do is to make the best out of it. Hit the ball and start running to the bases.

The same thing in school life. Dont be stumped at the current trouble that life has thrust upon you, instead handle it and dont lament on the problem. Sitting around and crying over spilt milk would not put the milk back into the carton. So what if you did not get what you desire? so what if your appeal fails? so what?! the world does not give a second chance! instead seize whatever you are given and try your best to hit a home run. Dont worry if you miss this chance, it is a player and only a game in the season called 'life'. there would be more chances and oppurtunities to come.

"Today we walk down this darken alley,
The walls tower here are blinding and scary.
I hold you close trembling in fear,
The only thing that eases my mind is that you are near.
Please don't go..."

CNY?

2007-02-18T02:13:00.000+08:00

Ah, Chinese New Year is here, a blissful intermission from the hectic race called 'life'. Managed to get some socializing time today, met up with members of F.O.S for a CNY celebration that ended up in a game of hide and seek in PS.

Anyhow, it is the new year! No resolutions this time... I dont follow the lunar calender. But it is a good time to sit back and take stock of the year so far. It has been an eventful one, filled with the most wondeful of times and the most melancholic of moments. For the purpose of not divulging my life to the readers and to dampen their holiday mood, I shall not elaborate further.

You know, the funny thing about life is the bittersweet moments it throws at you, I was thinking the other day, 'what is my place on earth?' . Although it is philosophical and the answer relative, it is important to use this question to be your guiding light to the decisions that one makes. How can we ever tolerate living an existence without a meaning? Life is full of mystery and surprises, but there is a meaning to it. So this CNY, dont go about your daily innings without a slightest clue as to the reason you are doing in. If you do that, we are nothing better than the animals that we see in the zoo.

Happy CNY esp to all you 12 year old piggies

Bleh

2007-02-10T21:34:00.000+08:00

Finally, after many weeks of being trapped out of Blogger, I am finally back. Thank you Google for planning to monopolize the entire web. With out you, I would not have a good excuse not to have blogged for so long.

However, the timing of my return is rather apt. This Wed is Valentine's day, It is a day where we would receive gifts from the ones who love us, etc. Well, I was thinking, do we really need this day to remind us that people love us? The answer is telling in the way that you would see this day. Don't get me wrong, I am not a pacifist here, by a realist. In our lives we will encounter people that we love (actually 'like' is a better definition), do we need this day to tell them that we "love" them?
Anyhow, I will be single for this valentines day as with all the other 16. But I am not Bitter about it, nor am I trying to dampen you, the reader's mood, all i am saying is this day is not very special, it is just unique.

So just soak up the festivities and well, enjoy the day.

Amoursanretour or something like that....

2007... so far

2007-01-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

Sighs, it has been a hectic start to the year, and thus I am unable to post as much as I intend to. What has gone on within the last 2 weeks of my life?

Well there was orientation (which was a blast) and then it was back to school where I got reaquainted with my notes and those boring lectures where watching the grass grow seem to be a better prospect. Anyhow, the homework has been piling, the teachers have been yelling and I am getting the shelling. It is very plain to see that I need someone here with me, but my hopes are just as realizable as the lecturer in math shutting the hell up.

'amoursansretour'.... or something like that

Resolutions?

2007-01-01T21:14:00.000+08:00

Well, it is the year 2007 and I guess the new year is suppose to usher in a whole new set of wishes and goals that I want to achieve in the year ahead. It is at this time when ppl start blogging their goals and aims, but this blog is different. My resolution for 2007 is to have no resolutions at all. The reason? Life is simply too short.

What do I mean by that, it is a known fact that resolutions are hardly ever achieved and life is too short to be chasing after goals. Dont get me wrong, to have a plan in life is important, but out time here is too short to be chasing after things and never having a minute to look back and appreciate the things that we had done and the problems that we have conquered. It has been a bad habit of ours to never see what we have done and only focus on the things undone.

Life is too short even if we live till 100, we only have 35,600 days to live. That is not alot of time, considering that we would sleep for a quarter of that time. You see, life is too short to always be chasing fantastical ideas with out having to halt for a moment to appreciate what is done. 2007 should be the year where we look back and take things easy. Let 2007 be the year where we live day by day apprecitaing what life has to offer. Let 2007 be the year of appreciation and not chasing and joining the rat race. Even if you do win the rat race, it only makes you the biggest rat.

Mantra for 2007:
Trust, rest and appreciate.

This Christmas...

2006-12-22T20:41:00.000+08:00

Well, christmas is around the corner and as expected, we are all rushing about buying presents and doing some shopping. But at this time of the year, can we not forget what is most important here. No it is not the spirit of giving or the idea of celebrating the nativity (YES they are important and all).

But what is the single most important thing is the idea of coming together as a family unit and thanking whichever god you belive in for a wonderful year and how he/they have been gracious to you and protected you for the past 360 days of the year.
No, it is not the time for you to be going out with your friends and getting pissed drunk and mistake your flushed nose to be Rudolf. But it is a time to sincerly look back and well, appreciate it.

Christmas is here and to me there is more to it then just presents and gifts. It should be a time for rememberance. For christians, it is to remember someone who gave his life for you. For others, it is a time to remember people who would give their life for you. It is a time to take stock on the quality of your life and be thankful for it. Just for this day let us not chase ambitions and goals without first taking time to look back and reminisece about the goals that we have accomplished

So this christmas, let us not get wild and over the top, let us not use the excuse of a mistletoe for a free kiss and let us not think christmas is some lightshow that makes Orchard rd more pretty (although it is not the case this year). Let us instead appreciate the friends and appreciate the love bestowed on us.

A MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL.

Thanks

2006-12-13T20:35:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to the person who managed to help me get all the links into the blog! Tks Colleen, sorry I dunno what is html or any of this programming things, rather noob at this. Thankfully you know this IT thing...

PS: notice the role reversal in this modern world. What next, female Phua Chu Kangs? Hmmm

Bloody Bas***d Breeze!

2006-12-13T15:55:00.000+08:00

The problem with technology is that it is not 100% reliable! I was trying to access the e-learning portal which contained my holiday homework and well, lo and behold, I cannot get in and school is starting soon and there is a test for this topic! (go figure).

I mean why can we not stick to paper and pen? There is a saying, if there is nothing wrong with it, don't fix it! Sorry for this flusttered post, but it is very irritating when I cannot get something which I want done. Anyhow, it has been a quiet week, and nothing realy meaningful has sufficed.
It pains me to wonder how the definition of the term 'holiday' has been brutally mauled by the Singaporean education system. No longer do we get to rest, instead we are given homework.

What is this world coming to?

Confessions of a Cab driver 2

2006-12-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

Well well , I was on the way back from a cab on Wednesday morning (2am), and I met another interesting cab driver with his own anecdote about life.

He was sharing with me how difficult life was being a cab driver, and how the increase in fares did not just affect us, but him also. He complained of how the new fares had turned off customers who would rather wait for the first bus or first train rather than take the cab. He had also talked about how his 2 children would starting primary school and how he had to single handedly put rice on the table for his wife, his children and himself. Sigh such is his predicament.

Well, he had mentioned about the constraints that he had faced and how he only had primary school education and how it had led to him ending up driving since he was a tender age. Of course, he had also mentioned how times had changed and how one needed an N or O level cert to drive a cab. Subsequently, he was worried that his children would not be able to adapt to the society for them in the future.

Sigh, times have really changed. 3 decades ago, noodles could be bought at 50 cents and things were so much easier. Education was fun and people were happy. Nowadays, we go about our daily innings with this 'computed' mindset and with our even thought or appreciation for life. Life has become such a bitter struggle to make ends meet and has been hard on the general population. I respect this uncle who has chose to struggle on and to continue to work against the odds and try to support his family. The education system has been taxing on us, and I guess, we really need to change and adapt, or else we would be sorely left wanting.

'let us not take the roof over our heads, the food on the table and the starhub cable as simply necessities, when somewhere just maybe a few roads down, these maybe be luxuries.'

PS: if the taxi driver and the passenger is at the loosing end of this new meter system, who is making the dough? Rather obvious eh.

Changes

2006-12-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

Friends are back from Aussie-land! Anyhow, Ben has to go for army now, so wont be seeing for long.

Its amazing how things can change since the last time I saw them (which was a year ago). I guess it just emphasizes how we all change and how 365 days can mould someone to a completly new person not jsut physically, but also in terms of his/her character and mannerisms. Well, I think ACJC has changed me alot in both good and bad ways, but then again I am not like the gahmen, I accept that pros come with cons.

Well, I was wondering to myself, can we ever remain true to ourselves? When we first started off as children, we had always claimed that we would never (emphasis on 'never') tell a lie. But looking back, I am afraid that the lies I have made can make you a millionaire if 1 lie cost $1. Well, we say that we would not smoke, not have pre-maritial sex, but how sure are we that we do will abstain?

Tsk tsk tsk, the temprement of the human will, so easily to change, so easy to turn 180 degrees, so easy to love, so easy to hate, so easy to give in.

Appreciation...

2006-11-29T22:17:00.000+08:00

Been thinking again, in life, who do you want to be:

An artist? An actor? Or a Cleaner?

What is the difference? well I think the difference is how you will be apprectiated. For an artist, the day you are remembered and loved is the day you are six feet under and well dead. For an actor/ actress, the only time you are remembered is if you do something that makes people sit up or makes them weep for your character. Or you could be a cleaner, never really appreciated, but always essential. Never always seen, but always having an impact. (I will leave it to your highly developed minds to figure out this hypothesis)

So What do you want to be? someone who is appreciated after life, someone who gets 15 mins of fame or someone who is not even known but knows that his/ her contribution is great? Rather hard to choose don't you think?

Chinese reflections....

2006-11-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

China Trip

I Ihave to admit that I had harboured tad bit of aprehension before my trip to China. Lets just say that I was not 'feelin' China and that I did not really like the place. So what if my ancestors were from there? I am not Chinese, I am Singaporean!

Thus, needless to say, I had a stereotype of China as a dirty and third world nation that had a conundrum trying to feed its 1.3 billion people (tht is a lot of zeros mind you) Well, I landed in Shanghai and was greeted by the wet and cold weather. Not a very promising sign of things to come. My 8 day trip took me to Suzhou, Wuxi, Nanjing, Huangzhou and back to Shanghai. It was many hours on the bus and a real bore.

But before I begin a narration, lemme talk about the trip on the whole. It was barely educational ( the tour guide spoke in Chinese, so not much could be comprehended), most days were raining, the food was full of pork dishes, smoking was a national pasttime and the people were so rude that they would cut the taxi queues!!

Aside from that, China has the most wonderful of scenerys. I mean, it is better than England, Australia, Israel, Spain even Korea. ( the pictures above would do justice to this statement). Anyhow, China was more of an eye opener more than anything else. I kind of feel a greater afinity to it even though it had presented me with so many 'turn-offs'. I felt rather comfortable and not so foreign.

However, passed all the beautiful facades of the rich culture and modern buildings, i saw the lesser known side of her. There were beggars on the streets struggling to survive as the standard of living surges ahead with her development.

For exmaple, an average worker earns about RMB2000, which is like S$500 and the cost of a MacDonalds there is like RMB22. So it is not a lot of $$$ to live on.They really are surving day by day. I think it was an eye opener to make me appreciate the life that I currently have. Anyone of us could have easily been in the same shoes as the beggars. After all, you did not decide if you wanted to be born and who your parents were to be. did you?

Well, I guess that is the purpose of holidays, besides the traditional idea of taking a break, visiting other countries has allowed me to further understand cultures and appreciate not only the life that we live, but the society that we are in. Anyhow, it was a good break but I'm glad to be on this sunny island, at least it does not rain every day! So enjoy the pics and till next time,
adieu

BAck

2006-11-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

Well, Just got back. Gimme me sometime and I will share with You about CHINA. (&(%&^$^$OY*&^ (tht was vulgarities)

2006-11-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

I saw this really nice quote and thought I should share it:

'She was my cream and I was her coffee and when you poured you poured us together, it was something.'

I saw this outside spinelli's I think. Well, so who is going to be your coffee today? more importantly, do you evn like your coffee with cream? Or are you more of a conventional drinker, no sugar, no cream. If that is so, what do you go well with then??

Conformist?

2006-11-12T21:39:00.000+08:00

I am once again suffering from a relapse of my melancholic mood again. So here comes another life questioning post:

Well, the past few days have set me thinking, can there ever be one side to a person? Can a person remain what he/she is for the rest of his/her life? Can we as human beings even remain true to the closest person that we know. Ourselves.
I was thining, the blog is a far cry from my outer personality, yet it is me. However, the outer personality is also who I am. Thus I am faced with a conundrum. Which should I be? Myself or myself?Have any of you reading this had those times when you feel that you have betrayed yourself? I sure have.

Anyhow, can we really have a fixed personality? Can we always hate that person or always love that so and so. Can we be true to ourselves? Society has cast a shadow over our wretched lives, she has spurned a web of deciet and lies. She has forced us to conform, and labeled non-conformist as outkast of the society. When all this time, this people are the ones who are the true victors and we the outkast.

Well, the melancholic phased has past and back to the normal ways, for now. So till next time, adieu.

Food for thought

2006-11-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

'Sometimes we can be so superficial.'

I had arranged to have dinner with my parents and their friend today. It was the friend's birthday, and I had thought that we would be dining in some posh 5 diamond restaurant. So I had gleefully tagged along. Instead of that, we ended up eating Chinese food in some shop tucked away in Chinatown. When we reached there, I was pissed! I mean, I came all the way down to eat this? WTF?! (I was thinking all this while I was dressed in t-shirt and shorts) I had never thought to consider if the food was as any good or better than the environment that it was situated. It turned out the food was fantastic and the service was also good. I dare say that it is better than some hotels I have eaten, where the food is a total joke.

Well, I guess this event was a small situation to teach me the basic concept of not judging a book by it's cover. How can one compass the qualtity of the, in this case , the food without having tried it? How can we judge someone with out learning more about him/her and giving them a chance?

I think this anecedote is just a reflection on life, we never really see the joy that it has. We see a man with a big house and a Ferrari parked outside and we jump to the conclusion that he is one 'hellova' happy man. We see a man sweeping the floor and we think that he is a sad man who is forced to do this. We however forget to see the sorrow in the rich man's life and the satisfaction in the sweeper's life. In society, we should not stick with the 'in-crowd' and forsake our values, we should not be so shallow as that. Lets give everyone a chance and lets live life without jumping into stereotypes.

Another parting thought for another eventful day:
People are like food, you can never tell their true character with out tasting them.

Pondering Bus Thoughts....

2006-11-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

Holidays have officially begun and it is time for some fun and to chill out and metally prep myself for the year ahead.

Interesting things happen on buses and I was a recipient of this interesting happening. I was in the bus and it was jammed pack with people. I was sitting on board and pondering over how these people might be feeling on board the bus as the cars whizzed by and as they pack themselves like sardines.

However, there was one constant thing that they shared. They all had these downcasted and stoned expression on their faces. There was no life at all! It's amzing how commitments and work can jsut sap the life out of us and leave us so weak and so 'stoned'. It is therefore my suggestions that we embrace life and for us to see another day as not just another 24 hours. Instead, we have to see it as another window of oppurtunities and another chance to experience what life has to offer.

So what if it is a work day or a school day? Does that mean that no happiness can be drawn from it? Does that mean that it will be void of any meaning? I think the answer begs the question. We have to embrace life, cause, who would know how much time we have left. Are you certain that you will be alive tommorrow? Can you be sure that you will still have your 2 legs a week from now?

The answer is clear. So we should enjoy life and every moment of it. We should not be so downcasted by work that we fail to appreciate the day that has unfolded. We should not let our life be slaves to conventions and dejections.

Ps: listen to 'Closer' by Goapele. It's damn chill out

"Free Hugs"

2006-11-05T21:56:00.000+08:00

"What the world needs now, is love sweet love, its the only thing that theres jus too little of". That was a quote from a song some time back. Amazing that it is just as relevant now as it was a few years back. Tht picture that you see above is a women holding a cardboard with the word 'Free Hugs' written in Polish.

What struck me was how we just need acts of kindness and maybe a hug or two to really brighten up those melancholic days. I was on the way for the class party when lo and behold, the phone's battery went dead and I needed to contact the others! So I was in a state of peril. What should I do? I mean who would lend their phone to a total stranger and let him place a call? Well, I decided to try the train contoller and asked for him help. He had not only lent me the battery for my phone, but even offered to charge my phone!

Such an minute act has a great impact on the lives of the people around you. Wether you know it or not, your kindness goes a long way. No this is not a publicity for the courtesy campaign or a belated advertisment for the '4 million smiles' saga. I feel that these acts of kindness really make one's day.

Moving on, what we need to do is be like the lady in the picture. Lets spread the love around. Its the only thing that we do not get poorer from giving more. Life is way too short to remain resentful all the time. What we need to do is to spread the love and joy. As the holiday season draws nearer, let us mean it when we say that this is a season of giving. Let us mean it when we say 'merry christmas' let us mean it when we say 'ol lang syne' (forgive the spelling). Lets stop the hate. Lets stop being selfish bastards and become the society that we are hyped up to be.

'Sometimes it is self benefitting to be selfless'

'Hua Yu Zai Jian'

2006-11-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

I think this post is going to be rather redundant, but I need to let this off my chest.

Chinese As are over!

Goodbye 'cheng yu', goodbye 'yan yu', goodbye one of my H1! well now that it is over, I can concentrate on more important and more pressing issues. My Homework. You notice how this vicious cycle continues to play in the Singaporean education system? You are delighted to complete 1 task and only to find another 2 more staring at you.

This cruel irony has got to stop. My time has been sucked up by studying! I think the phrase 'youth is wasted on the young' is rather pertinent here. One has yet to to fully enjoy life and the pleasure of youth when it is heinously stolen from them. Therefore I think that we need to really cherish the moments in our life. Life is not made up of events, but of moments that take your breath away. It is these moments that give it new meaning and purpose.

We all wake up, shower, brush our teeth and go to our respective places of work. What we lack to cherish, is the nitty gritty things that happen around these events. A simple smile, a word of encouragement does wonders to the soul. I guess it is time for us to take stock on the simple things that makes a world of a difference.

PS: I did tell you that this post was random

the Chinese conundrum

2006-11-01T12:48:00.000+08:00

'The world would be a better place if we all spoke only 1 language'

Sorry for this random thought, but I am being forced to study for my Chinese A levels and boy! I sure wish we had only needed to speak only a language. Who cares about the preservation of culture and tradition?! It is already being perverted by the mass media and needs no help.

Think of a world where we only speak 1 language. It would be a so much better place. Business transactions would go smoothly with no 'lost in translations'. Holdidays will be so much more fun, considering that you can speak to the locals and ask them where the best places are. The world would be so much happier! So what if we loose a bit of our heritage? after all, isn't the most important thing in the world progress?

Ok, gotta go back to Chinese. Sighs

Confessions of a Cab Driver

2006-10-30T19:49:00.000+08:00

'You see the truth of the situation when talking to talking to strangers'

Well, was on the way back in a cab from clark quay with Reuben and Rose. Well, we had just dropped rose off when the taxi driver had wondered why we had dropped her off first (considering that it would have been more practical to have dropped Reuben and I first). He went on to talk about how he had problem trying to get passengers as he was black!

Before I am called a racist and someone who is out to destroy the social fabric of our society, it was he who had said that. Anyways, he had mention that passengers were afraid to ride the cab and were scared that they would get "raped" and "something bad would happen to them". I am not kidding! he had said that.

That got me to ponder about the gravity of his claim and how reliable it is. To think about it, if there were such incidents mentioned by him, it would mean that there is actually no racial cohesion, instead there is only mere tolerance and each race is suspicious of each other. I mean, everyone be it Indian, Chinese, Malay, Japanese or African are all out to make a decent living and we shld not prevent this beacuse we carry with us a stigma about how each race is. In the words of Martin luther King, Jr, we should judge someone "by the color of their skin, but on the content of their character".

Thus the message for today is:
We cannot carry with us a stigma of a person, it is a huge breach of human rights and that would ruin the social fabric of our society. So if you are a Chinese, jump into a taxi with a Indian cab driver, If you are an Indian, jump into a Cab with a Chinese cab driver. Let us not have stereotypes guide our actions, but instead, let us go in the belief of trusting one's character and not on his/her race.

The Lady that changed my life....

2006-10-28T00:51:00.000+08:00

It seems that the reality of life always hit at the most awkward of moments. I was waiting for melodie and alyssa today at the mrt station. Then I say this lady walk right up to the dust bin, stuck her hand in and started pulling out all the newspapers and laying them on the ground! Believe me, I was shocked. It's not everyday that you tend to see people doing what she just did. I had kindda felt rather disgusted and yet rather sorry for that poor lady.

Anyways, she had took the newspapers and had rearranged them, placing them in neat stacks and she tried to make sure that the papers were clean and new. Well, after awhile of digging and stacking, she left-this is when the reason for this post kicks in. Well, she was walking whilst a young lady brushed past and dropped her purse or something and unknowingly walked on. Well, this lady who had just stuck her hand into the dustbin, picked it up, caught up her and gave it back to her!

I guess this ancedote draws up the idea of moral fiber and the values we value in our life. Imagine if you had to stick your hand into dustbins for a living and to make ends meet. Would you have the conviction and the moral courage to give back a purse that could well hold enough cash to get you by for a week? maybe even 2? I guess that her chacracter of being upright and honest is a true acid test of a person.

It is not the money or the cars, it is the morality that one displays. Come to think of it, some rich people are too scheming to even return back the purse.Yet, this lady who is struggling to have 3 meals a day can. It then begs the question as to what is becoming of us. Moreover, it also allows us to reflect on how fortunate we are.

At that time, I was listening to Chris Botti on my new NANO and at the instant, that lady was picking newspapers out of the dustbin! I think that I need to be more appreciative of the life presented to me and how we must cherish it.

Coming back to morals, we should take a leaf out of the pages of this lady, I do not know her name, but I know her character and her purity of heart. I know that she is financially poor, but spititually rich. Some of you may say that she is a fool and that money talks. But well, I do not think that money talks all the time. It caves in to morals and moreover, spiritual and mental fortitude. What can you do with all the money in the world when you are running away from your inner self? It is senseless and downright sad.

Well I guess that is all for now, time for me to sleep and reflect more on this incident that has well changed my day.

Bittersweet...

2006-10-27T10:59:00.000+08:00

Sigh. You know how sometime, you just need to deal with your loses and move on in life? Well, I guess it is easier said then done. After a whitewash with 1sc3's frisbee team, we were really on the brink of endlessness. Not to mention that this was coupled with our wonderful promotional results that in my case, contained no vowels. I guess that was bittersweet, considering that the vowels would have spaned both sides of grade range.

Anyhow, it was pretty good for the class though. We all got promoted!! but then again, it is not the destination that counts but the road to it that mattered. Although we did make it to J2, we had just scrapped through, and it was far from a good performance. None the less, it calls for a bit of celebraTION and fun. Sigh, easier said than done.

Unguarded Serendipity... by =ProsePetals

2006-10-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

A little something to emphasize my day:

In a breath of gently spoken words of truth
over shades of softest honesty revealing
to the return waxed exhalation of smoke
and the tap-dancing rhythm of anticlimax.

a tempestuous reality of words
that never should have been spoken
from a heart that was meant to be broken
time and time and time after time

As the smooth, cool blade of subtle irony
cuts through the texture of my blitheness
so jealously guarded and unwittingly
and carelessly spent in a moment of candor.

and a wild and dangerous spirit
that takes greater risks than prudence
would ordinarily allow, in past tense
and will never be present tense again

Initial token sensation of anger and frustration
at a slip of otherwise untouchable lips, a sweet
transition of unexpected liberty for by missing
the words for reasons undisclosed yet known…

when strains of violin refrains in softest
tones of languid, sanguine yesterdays
that no longer exist, can’t find their way
into today, and really, that’s more than okay

You casually and caustically set me free
from the chains that held me so close to your
heart and the secrets that my own keeps are held
in the dark and quiet place where serenity sleeps…

when silence is voluminous and
irony is luminous, and everything else
just falls away and nothing matters
more than the quiet times of simplicity

Ho hummm....

2006-10-22T21:59:00.000+08:00

Today was one of those ho hum days. But I did manage to catch 'the Prestige' though. It was throughly entertaining and managed to maintain the suspense to the very end. Sadly, like an exhausted plot, the play ended with only many dead people and a twisted web of logic. 2 important lessons were learnt tho:
1. The pursuit of Greed and Power can lead to a great man's downfall.
2. Sometimes, the simplest of reasons are the correct answer.

However, what struck me today was when I was on the bus. I saw this old lady with a diamond encrusted watch. She was also adorned with jewellry. It had set me thinking: what must I do to enjoy such luxuries when I'm Older? When will I be able to enjoy these things? Then, I guess I had an epiphany!

I need to study harder!

You must be wondering about the link, but it just struck me. After that, I had lapsed into one of those melancholic moment all the way home. I was seeing but I was not processing,my mind was stagnant and my vision was just a blur of lights. This was how I ended another of those ho humm days.

Parting thoughts: Man also want to grab what he cannot grasp.

More thoughts....

2006-10-21T21:57:00.000+08:00

Today is the Deepavali. like any other Saturday, I was lazing around again. Nothing productive was done. AGAIN. Nonetheless, heard that MM Lee was visting Las Vegas. Guess he had wanted to see the peril and the destruction that the Intergrated Resort (a nicer name for Casino) was about to knell.

Once again no good news about the world to report, people are still dying and the world is getting filled with vices, corruption and clueless people. Just heard from the news that some Indonesians did not know that we were suffering from the haze. I mean, How STUPID can someone get. It just goes to show the ampathy tht is in this world. I would not have expected such ampathy to something that adversly affects them.

Moving on, I entered my account and realized that the account was in Chinese! worse of all, I don't eveb know how to change it back to English. although I am supposedly bilingual, I am finding it hard to navigate through the blog. Sigh. I guess this would be all for now, till next time....

Cheers

Randoms....

2006-10-20T22:47:00.001+08:00

Not gonna say much now... Just wondering how about life and it's meanin. You know how we all go about our daily ramblings with out ever considering the meaning and the significance of it. We should enjoy life and to do that, it would meant that we need to understand it and love every aspect of it. But that again is another random thought for you to ponder on.... I mean, it is not as though there is a deeper meaning to the brushing of yr teeth.

Srijith asked is there was anything abt him, so being the welfare person which I am, i'm going to squeeze him in. He is a nice guy and 'adaptable' (private joke). Anyways, If you are reading this, you need to put in more effort!

OK then nothing really left to say, besides kindda tipsy with all the VODKA now...

Intro...

2006-10-20T22:14:00.000+08:00

After the subtle pressure and influence of my schoolmates and the sudden pang of getting thoughts out of my head, I have started a blog! I guess now is the time to give you a little about my self. Well, I am rather thick headed, cynical and quirky. I am a Volatile,impatient and I hope funny person to be around with. I hate Mondays and I hate Sundays(it's the eve of the day I hate).

Well, I like to chill alot and gym (gotta burn those fats off), Anyhow, I like meeting people and playing pool and really hanging out in coffee joint . Any activity to take off the stress from my mind is a good activity.

I have a fatal addiction to chocolates (that is why I need the gym),watches and handphones. I love to Slack, and well to enjoy the finer things in life (wadever they maybe) I have a habit of infactuations (loads) and insulting people and I have a spelling problem too(as you will discover along the course of this blog's existence). I am a cynical person and don't really see the good things in life but rather zoom in on faults(quite nihilistic actually) and how sucky the world is getting and how fares are going up and how life is getting $$$.

I love flying and the feeling of putting my life in the hands of a man whom I have never seen b4 and may be an extra in brokeback moutain for all I know and my trust in pieces of metal nailed together by a company called Boeing...(worst still! I just found out SIA uses CHina pilots! now everything is 'made in China') Well, I want to live an eventful life feeling that if I do die tomorrow, my life had been colorful, meaningful and well, worth it (very Singaporean). I also like to know what is going on in the world (life would be so meaningless if you do not know about how bad your life is or how worst it could be). I want to know when I die so that I can at least mark it down and F**K the world before I leave.

I think that love is a fictitious state of great passion, pain, sadness and leaves you hoping tantalus. That does not mean that I don't want it mind you...But really it is an emotion that is so hard to compass, but yet so apparent in our world.

I love Ironies. More so if they are cruel ( I told you I was mysogynistic).

I want my epithat to read: "He died, Everyone gave a F**K" ( it does not a rocket scientist to tell that I am rather vulgar, but that is if you could be bothered to read this far). Finally I'm a person that either makes or breaks your day and for your sake I hope it is the former. I am true to myself and have no qualms about bitching you in the face.

I guess that is a short intro about myself and contary to the URL of this website, This blog would be anything but 'in my sense' it would be wild crazy and may end up like Mr Brown's column (which I do hope he gets back). So signing off for now.

See ya (whoever u may be)