Uncle, Melamine Utensils Please

I have always been the kind of person to run back to the familiar, the familiar smell of home cooked food, the familiar sights of my residence, the familiar feeling of sleeping on my bed its contours forming a nest for my body. The unfamiliar is interesting, but ultimately left to the adventurers and the misguided. Whats worse then the unfamiliar? well, its the feeling of the familiar becoming all to alien.

Case in point, NEWTON HAWKER CENTRE. I must say that I had fond memories of the old Newton. Yes the one with the with really small stool like chairs and even smaller circular tables, where the light Blue paint tried in vain to hide the rust that had accumulated throughout the years there. Yes the Newton of old, where you were greeted with a warm humid fog before you even entered. No this was not any ordinary fog, it smelled of the wonderful hawker fare on offer. The Char Kuay Teow, the Hokkien Mee, the Chai Tao Kuey, the Stingrays, the Oyster Omelet, the BBQ chicken wings, etc. Yes my friends, that was a heavenly scent like sweet nectar from a rare flower in full bloom. The only thing that was better than the smell, was the the taste. Oh! the froth from the teh tarik, that spicy mee pok ta that seemed to transcend the spicy o meter, and could only be extinguished with some sour sop dessert or some sugarcane. The blend of old school charm, good food and the low attention to hygiene seemed to be the most brilliant formula that made Newton, well, Newton.

You could imagine my utter dismay and shock when I went to the new Newton. After a hectic week in the Emerald City, I was hoping for a reminiscent of her old school past. What I got was a slaughtered version of Newton, that saved for the name and a small nuclear of stalls, had nothing that brought the throngs of people it did just a few years ago. The stalls had become generic, the seating arrangements so awkward, the hawkers, so lifeless.

The food was worse, for a higher price and a smaller portion, I got to taste the "toast of Singapore", the epitome of Singapore's "hawker fare". In fact it did nothing to represent Singapore's quality food. I swear, I could find better food at the coffee shop next door. The hokkien mee could well be called noodles, the mee pok had by "decent" seal of approval, nothing like its 'die die must try' status bestowed by some television programme(i wonder how you got featured). The stingray was 'ok' but not the best I have had. And the teh tarik only "flew" once. I felt like the bigger clown getting fooled into buying from that store. All in all, it was a farce, a sad combination of gimmicks and bad food all served in Styrofoam plates and plastic cups.

You know what I say? I say, Give me back my melamine tainted utensils. I don't care if its hygienic or lacking in presentation. If it adds to the taste, then I am having it. I say, dear Mr Hawker, get yourself together, I can feed your excuses of cuisine to the 'old guard" and they would spit it out and take laxatives to flush whats left out of their system. Theres no more oomph, no more sweet melancholy. Give me back my NEWTON HAWKER CENTRE. I taste generic food whose taste could have easily come from flavoring.

I don't know what it is, it could be the sweat I drip when I eat, or the confusing ambience , but I love the old newton, the new one's just cold, lifeless. So yea, I can now only imagine the tastes and flavors that the old Newton brought, unable to realise them ever again. Viva la Modernisation.

Ritual

Well I have been dodging blogging for some time now. Its a bit difficult to describe this love hate relationship that I have with inmysenses.

On one hand I simply cannot enough of get the sheer bliss of exorcising whatever angst and inner demons that I have suppressed in my life. Yet, I can't bear to sit in front of my computer and perform this ritual. For you entertainment buffs, its like watching GOSSIP GIRL and not wanting the know the ending. On one hand, you want to watch what happens to Serena and our all so innocent Dan, yet you don't really want to see that happy ending. You feelin' me?

Well, like Gossip Girl, I cannot take it no more.The unknown and yet uncontrollable urge to blog has taken over. So here I am.

So, my parents have been gone for more than a week now and I must say solitude is not all such a bad thing. The harsh silence of the house has become a rather sweet melody that I enjoy humming to. Only to be broken by the smokey voices of Mrs Fitzgerald and Mr Sinatra, this is my version of a quantum amount of solace. Well I must say that this hiatus has been good for me to contemplate life in general.

I am gravid with thoughts and ideas. I am smitten by melancholy. I think its high time that I really reconnect with my friends I have met over the years. The Emerald City is a festering ground for failed relationships. Also, I have been thinking of becoming more laid back, I guess articles that quote stress as the major contributor to the common illness, has flash-backed and dawned on me. So here I am trying to me nice and more laid back. Ironically enough, its pretty stressful to change myself. (RAWR)

So now, as my purging is near complete, I guess this parent-less has been nothing short of interesting. Ideas in hand and resolve carelessly left behind, I venture forward to life. Thankfully I got God to help me. Can't see myself venturing into this without some divine intervention.


(In the spirit of Gossip Girl)
XOXO

Blog and Life Resuscitation

Its sad, almost tragic. What am I talking about? The state of my blog of course. I owe its dilapidated state due to the mundane living that I have been experiencing recently. The recent months have been an anti thesis to the stock market. There is no volatility, no highs, no lows, surreal sedentary. Its no wonder that there is nothing to talk about.

Like a black and white film in slow motion. I feel like the only guy standing still in a busy train station while everyone rushes about, doing their daily affairs. (I think I said this before).Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to be emo or feel depress. Its just a salient reflection of what I am feeling now. I am lackadaisical. I am sluggish. I am bored stiff with this Emerald City!

Yet as life continues in cruise control. I can't help but feel a greater appreciation for her nuances, her quietness that paves a way unfamiliar melody,peaceful and calm some thing which has eluded most of us kids for the past 12 years. Like a distant star that appears to blink, its all but visual trickery, like how the star's light emits constantly, so my life sails by steadily. 

It may seem contrary, but come to think of it I am beginning to like this foreign life of mine. No so much for the lack of women but for the lack of personal worries. For example, last week's only worry was, who the hell bought those 4 AK47s at Zouk on Sat. Not really your "bailout" decision/worry. Its great. Like a third person watching the world whizzes by. Like the man enjoying his cup of cappuccino in DeliFrance while watching the busy office people rush by in the rain. How all so fantastic.

But can't wait for the uni holidays, maybe it would inject a little excitement to Ian's consistency. I am still young you know.. resuscitation 

"It'll Be Just As Quiet When I Leave, Like It Was When I First Came Here"

Bonjour Monsieur/ Madam and all you Madamoiselles. So I rolled into a month of French class, and I can't say that I have become those fictitious French lovers. My French does not swoon women, it causes them to fall, and roll in laughter that is. 

Well, I am in one of my melancholic moods once again. Wondering how the pleathora of friendships made in JC are slowly fading into nothing-ness. Friends slowly assimilating themselves into different social networks or continents. Oblivious to their gradual departure.

I seem to be stuck in a silent movie. Where the main character just stands in the middle of a square (or train station) while everyone else is walking along their way, and in fast forward. Well, as I am hit my the on rushing revelation that people move one, let me take this time to tell you me friends that I am truly blessed to meet you. 

So as the credits role and Rachel Yamagata's "quiet" comes to an end. I think my melancholy has once again be kept in check again. But save for the tears and the fact that I still have a cadre of friends. Its all very depressing. Very depressing. 

Adieu

Lamentation

While listening to "season of love", the OST of RENT the musical, I just wondered how pessimistic that song was. As if 525800 mins were all that we really had. I mean can't we sub divide it to to view even those precious seconds? Well maybe the watch was not as complex as it was then. Food for thought.

Well after that rather forgettable lamentation, I wondered how life was a tad bit mundane now. Life in the Emerald City has not been all that exciting. I mean sure, pure regimentation and discipline create predictability and I don't really like surprises. But I want some thing more. Hopefully those French and driving classes would help. Its all rather surreal to me at the moment.

I guess its the transition phase of life. A pity that the girls are not enjoying this phase. We could all use with some 'hang' time. But no, they go on with the usual monotonous cycle of education. Learning more to learn more. wondering about the future and the job prospects. Instead here I am completely clueless as to what I want to do only thinking about the 'now' and not even giving a fleeting thought about the 'future'. The dichotomy is obvious and worst of all, I seem in no hurry to consider the later.

As I finish my glass of dark rum and lime, I think I will reserve those thoughts for another time. No need to rush, its time to take it easy and try to enjoy the Edmerald City as much as I can.


Music of the type:
Artist: Bananarama
Song: Love in the first degree/ Venus

Facebook Memories

Well, even though the medium may change, the effect is still as profound. While I was surfing facebook, I stumbled upon a montage of photos during the AC days. Something that somehow awash my memories of the rolling good times that I had not too long ago. Those images were so recent yet so distant. As though they had happened a decade ago. But well, they are less than half a year old.

That old melancholy rose up again, like a tidal, it fills me up with the excitement that I felt when I was still studying and not wearing green. Its amazing how we don't really miss something till it is not there. How we were all so eager to grow up and 'face' the world only to regret it later and wished that we could reverse the clock and go back to our infancy. The innocence and clueless-ness of adolescence life. Tis, we are now made to face the maturity of our soon to be adulthood. More aware of the situation and more distinctively clear of the material concerns encircling our lives.

I can't help but look back at those JC days with great joy and regret. Joy for all the good times that it had generated, for the great friendship that it had bloomed and all the quirky moments that it ensued. Yet, I am tainted with regret. Perhaps, I could have done more in AC, perhaps, I could have made more friends, Be a better senior? (Nah) and perhaps, I could have made it last longer ( that idea has not left my mind since j2). Well all that said and done, all that I can do now is muster the remainder of my memories and jot them down into this journal of sorts. All I can do is can them in the world wide web. SO that when I am down and alone and feeling blue, there would be a source to remember them. Maybe one day the class of 2aa5/2007 will sit down and laugh back at these times. But till then, as scan the facebook profiles again, I can't help but feel a sense of school patriotism welling inside me. I guess, and I hope that the best is yet to come.


Music for the type:
Tittle: Round About Midnight
Artist: Gotan Projet

Hiatus

Ok, after a very long 4 month hiatus, I think I am back to blogging. I guess, the hectic life of post enlistment and of course the need to remain in contact with JC mates had taken a toll on my online time. But, as I said, I think I am back.

So much things have happened in the last few months, too much in fact to narrate it here on this blog. Instead, lets talk about the greatness of what is going to develop soon. Army has gone into cruise control- the constancy of it is amazing. The need to keep in touch with my friends have not been easy. Its hard to go from seeing people on an everyday basis to possibly a monthly basis. slowly but surely, it results a depreciating of contact. Like denatured tips of synapses, the efficient of friendships have fell. But it should be all good soon. Its not like friendship is a presidential campaign, is it?

Ok as i sink into my melancholic mood, I can't help but feel a sense of over expectation and surrealism. Its as if I am not really living this life. As in this phase of life is just a dream- a realistic one at that. 2 years, of carefree living, 2 years of not really doing anything and getting paid at that, well it does sound good.

As i try to pull my thoughts together, i just can't help but sink and render myself to my melancholy. So till the next time when I muster the strength to type again, adieu.


Music of the type:
Artist: AMY WINEHOUSE
Album: Frank

ENERGIZER

Like a clock that has ran out of batteries, so too has my blog stopped moving for this passage of time. And just like how time does not halt even though the clocks batteries have stopped, so too has my life been ticking away. Now, time to but batteries back into this blog.

Well well it has been close to 3 weeks since army came into my life, and boy it has been a roller coaster of a trip. Due to my absurd laziness, I will not be relating it to you now. But I will in the posts to come. Anyhow just to let you know, I am out of Tekong and back into civilization. And my experience awaits you avid readers.

PS: I work a day 'job' now so call me if you are free

One Circle

And so it is, 4 days remaining and there goes my freedom. It makes sense that this post is here, considering that you don't miss something until it is really gone. Think about this analogy: One day you do something wrong and your mum bans you from going out. Then being grounded and made to stay at home suddenly becomes sad and depressing. This is even though you have not been going out for the past few days and have been having a jolly good time at home.

You see when one is robbed of a certain liberty, he/she begins to treasure it even more. Its human nature I guess. Well I certainly feel this depression and sadness, as army will rob me of this freedom. The point I am trying to drive is this, do appreciate and treasure whatever you have now. I know that this will probably sound corny and seem like one of life's great quotes. But in actual fact this cannot be nearer to the truth. We go through our daily innings in life without seriously appreciating what she bears. We are so focused on tomorrow that we neglect today(another famous quote). Think about it, can you remember what you have done today or yesterday? Have we once stopped to think about the wonderful things that happened in life. Like how we witnessed acts of kindness in the office or school. When was the last time that you enjoyed a sunset?

If the answer to these questions are blanks, then its time for a serious reevaluation of our life. Although it is good to have a life driven by profits and other material trappings. How can we just use statistics and bankbooks to judge the overall satisfaction that we get. How can we say that Donald Trump is happier and leads a more meaningful life than a monk? Well, we cant. Going back to my point, its time we begin to treasure Life more. Take the time to reflect on what happened during the day. Ask yourself how your day went, and try to take note of the wonderful things that happened to you and around you. Treasure it. With all the bad news in this world, we can do with some positive reinforcement.

So I wrap this up this post feeling more refreshed and less dreading army, after all like life, maybe I will find happiness there. Maybe the army will bring more life stories to learn from and fond memories to cherish.

Alright, one good post deserves a another eh. So this is dedicated to my friend, my loyal dog and in the eyes of Mr Loh, my gay buddy. Jerome. You have been there with me for at least the last one year and ten months, and I have to admit it has been a blast. Unlike you I remembered the first time I met you. We were auditioning for choir. For us it was a chance to get into ACJC. For you it was a breeze, singing and melodies came naturally to you. For me, it was sheer desperation, thus the unpolished gem joke. Anyhow yes, we both made it back but definitely through different means. You through singing, me through sheer favor.

And lo and behold we ended up in the same class. So it began a wonderful friendship. It seemed that we had gyming as a similar past time and that's how we got to know each other. I guess, spotting for someone did create trust and always being late for lesson due to gyming had the same profound effect.

Yes, even though you take my food all the time and continuously make fun of me and Sheranne, it somehow got us closer. Yes, you had your fair share of jokes of your flamboyant love life, although I doubt the girl you had in secondary school was any thing but buoyant. Hahaha. It was good to have you in math lessons and lectures, firstly cause your math was pretty good and cause you always had food with you. Especially during J1. Lessons were fun too, you were always a wonderful photo opportunity. You don't know the amount of times I have you sleeping in everything from GP to lit to math. Of course your clumsy manner and your proneness to be the butt of the jokes made it good fun. Remembered you had your pants the wrong way during PE? I still have the picture.

So even after graduation, we are still tight. And I guess that I am blessed to have you as a friend and I hope that you feel the same too. So here's to a wonderful friendship and one that will grow when we go to the army. Here's to mutual acquaintances turning into profound friendship.

My Muse

Some people have told me that my blog is different and that it is not like your normal blog. Well, thank you for that. I take that as a great complement. Let me dedicate this post to talk about my inspiration for the subjects that I talk about on this page.

Well firstly, Inmysense was created to serve as a mirror to my life-obviously. But more importantly, it served as a vessel to express my frustrations at certain happenings around the world and to express my anger at the criminality over some vile and heinous acts against society on the whole. Posts such as 'confessions of a taxi driver', 'while I was being educated', 'somethings very wrong when you need to be educated by an 18 year old', etc. All serve as a foil to reveal the lack of etiquette, the struggles of the individuals in society and the lack of a positive in the world. I hope to create a human face and reveal to you that the situations such as poverty, lack of mannerisms, war,etc are all real and that they are affecting people and that they are not just statistics that you read in the papers. Breeding Humanity.

Secondly, I had created the blog with the intention of it not being just solely a narrative of my life. I mean do people really want to read a page where I tell you what I had for breakfast, lunch and dinner, what color underwear I wore or who I think is a bitch. Well, I don't think that is the case. Either way, I wanted the post to have a meaning behind it. Basically there is a moral to all the post and provide more commentary as oppose to a plain narration. This probably explains the lack of post that I have, it is not so much that I don't have anything to say as oppose to me having nothing meaningful to say.

I guess these are the 2 founding principles of my blog. Thus the name, inmysenses.

The Reeling Return to Reality

After much practice, the key pad now feels a whole lot better and more familiar, thus I will attempt to post another article.

Well, the army epiphany has smacked me again and voila! Its going to happen in about seven days! Whoah that was fast, the last thing I remembered was having finished that literature exam and thinking :"Now, I have all the time in the world to rest and relax". Well I guess time does fly when you are having fun- even as cheesy as that saying goes.

Well the 2 months of complete freedom, where I need not worry about another year in school, doing holiday homework, or listen to the incessant nagging of my parents have sadly come to an abrupt halt. The whirlwind months have a been wonderful and have proved to be productive in a spiritual and social sense- not so much the monetary. Life was good. Yet, like an extended holiday, it is time that I get back on the plane and depart back to the real life. Army heralds and so does university for the girls and all those other work and world related 'mundanes'. Nevertheless always the more, these are inevitable and I am beginning to try and embrace it. These 2 months of unbridled freedom will come to a close and its back to black. Where black represents the dull, monotonous and those incessant nagging.

I am smitten by the on rushing kaleidoscope that we all know so well as life. The friends, the work, the social life and the personal life has all been jumbled and contorted into this one image that we go through day after day. Yet, we brave through it day after day, trying to make sense of the unfamiliar and pretending to pass it of as the familiar. I am now re-entering this kaleidoscope where everything is jumbled and there is no clarity and only filled with ambiguity. The traditional black and white have been replaced with the thousands of hues in between.

Oh my, its more depressing than I thought. Its time like these when the belief of a greater being that controls your life provides a relief. O help me, God.

Darn Com

Ahh good to be back in Singapore! I have just came back from amazing HONG KONG where the shopping was great, and the food even better. Wonderful place to be in, sadly I can't show you any photos now, my com is down and I am reduced to using a laptop that had won a good design award 10 years ago. Well, the days are slowly ticking by, and army apprehension is kicking in. Do I really need to waste 2 years of my life doing this? will I fit in? well the questions are endless, just like the endless worries I have.

Well, I guess all I can do is suck it up. Anyhow due to my fingers aching from typing on this minuscule key pad, I will keep the post brief. See you

08

Welcome to 2008. The beginning of the new year. A year that promises to be more exciting, more intriguing and most of all greener (army that is). Mostly everyone else will probably be telling you what they resolve to do in 2008 and how they want to become smarter, nicer, etc. But the question is, do you really need a new year to do all these things? Anyhow to just get into the season of things, I will be one of these mindless people too. So here is my resolutions for the year 2008:

1. I resolve to not change too much in the army.
I know how they say that upon going to the army one becomes like the hooligan on the street. So I resolve that I wont turn up to become like those vulgar and expletive spouting individual. Its not good for my rep. Not healthy too, makes me look so uncouth.

2.I resolve never to smoke or do drugs.
OK this is a follow up of my previous goals that I had set in December. But no drugs or smoking for me. Its too physically damaging to be good. Too expensive too. Well yea so no drugs or smoking! NEVER.

3. I resolve to keep closer contact with my friends.
This has been already emphasized in my post 'connecting people' but it serves best to be reminded. Anyhow so to all my JC mates, watch out! we will be catching up real soon.

4. I resolve to make more money!
-Self explanatory-

Alright that what I can think of now, will add more when I can think of more. After all one does not need a new year to change.